Sunday, November 18, 2007

I'm friggin boring.

I had several options to do several things this weekend, but all I wanted to do was stay home and read my book. So I did. And I finished it too.

GOD I'm so boring. I've become that girl who stays home, listens to public radio, drinks coffee, reads books by older liberal Jewish women, and falls asleep every night with the light on. Actually, I don't know why I say "that girl". It's not like I know anyone else like that. And I think I mistakenly labeled myself a "girl" when it should had been replaced with "grandmother". And "coffee" with "chamomile tea". At least I'm still cutting edge to a certain point.

I suppose I'm growing up...?

Lately, I've been thinking about the stages I go through with my life, and the stages my friends go through with their lives. The thing is, I've never been on the same so-called life timeline with my closest friends. Especially with my best friend. She and I have never been on the same page as far as what we're working on and what we're striving for. For example, at the moment, I am knee-deep in my job, and she is knee-deep in going on to grad school after having graduated from undergrad this year. I've been out of school for 2 years, and she's been going straight since we were all mandated to get an education.

This has proved to clash and compliment our friendship over time.

My internal clock is now automated with my job. At the latest, I get up by 7AM, and I get incredibly tired once 9:30PM strikes. Because my job is social service related, I'm heavily interested in what happens on the local and national level, because it actually affects my clients and what I have to do. Because I'm a recent graduate, I'm one of the youngest ones at work, and I get lots of advice and insight about things that are... I guess "grown-up".

On the other hand, with my friend, she has obligations to study and therefore her sleeping schedule is random (although, I would argue that hers is more regulated and early rising than most students). She's become very disciplined in her study habits, and can memorize, read, and take tests like no other. She has a lot of studying obligations, though, that she doesn't have time to read about stuff I read about. But she's 110% more knowledgeable about science and academic journal articles than I have ever been. And because she's in school, and not a freshman, she's rarely the youngest one in classrooms.

We complement each other and many things, mostly through trading information. But, I must admit, our priorities are slightly different. It's funny, because it's always been kind of different (because my friend and I are practically opposites in many aspects). But recently, because I've become more anal with my time (which I suppose is a sign that I'm "growing up"), we had a brief clash which brought some awkwardness. I mean, we worked it out. We worked it out pretty well, and in a very civil manner. But it just left me wondering.

I think this is the time, if it hadn't already happened, when friends start splitting ways due to different priorities and life timelines.

I have former friends who are now acquaintances because we're doing very different things now. Number one reason is them getting married and creating families. Number two is me having a job, and friends going on to school. Number three is physical distance; friends are distancing because they've moved away.

It's sad, I suppose, but I'm also feeling that this is what people talk about when they say "that's the way of life". I guess that's a cliche, but cliches are cliches for a reason, no?

Soon, we'll be so split that I'll only have unmarried, un-family-attached, career-minded friends that are so reminiscent of those sitcoms and Sex and the City's, that it'll probably be quite pathetic. But my married and family-holding friends will probably be dying inside in their ridiculously monotoned households. And we'll all be unhappy and frustrated in such cliched ways in our own respective worlds, but some how find a reason to go on every day. Like that IRA or pensions.

If you're wondering about my friend and I, though, (which I doubt you are but I'm going to assume you are anyway), we've gone through so much and had such different lives throughout the entire duration of our friendship, that these types of clashes probably won't be the cause of our demise, if we ever have one. So you see, that could happen too. Different people could coexist with each other in very close and personal ways like she an I do. She's practically my family, and maybe that's why it doesn't matter if we don't really do the same thing, ever.

It is nice to have someone like that in your life, though. Right?

Anyway, have a nice Sunday everyone. To support my grandmother-ness, I'd like to report that it's 7AM on a Sunday morning, and I've been up for nearly an hour. In the spirit of grabbing my youth by the balls, though, I'm going to go on a run.



y said...

I hear you, sistasledge. I feel like I'm alone in a boat.

Anonymous said...