Wednesday, November 29, 2006


A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned my whole "crisis" about doing good things or getting rich. ( Thank you for all your encouraging comments, by the way. It really helped.)

I made my decision and decided to go with the job that pays less but will let me do good things. I figure, I'll get rich later. I'm still completely lost on what I'm passionate about, but you guys had a good point when you mentioned that your job shouldn't necessarily be your passion. I just hope I like it. I'll just take it one day at a time, like I've always done. I'm SOOOOOO not a planner. I plan trivial things like what to wear for the entire week, but I never have planned what I'm doing 5 years down the line. Did I ever tell you how I applied to the college I ended up attending? My mom threw it in a pile of applications at the last minute. I halfheartedly completed the application form, didn't even take a look at the essay question and just sent in the same one I wrote for USC, and sent it off. Bada bing, bada boom. It's amazing I got in at all. ( I got rejected by USC, though. Them bastards. They'll rue the day, I tell ya.)

Anyhoo, eyes back on the original topic.

I took a new job at a non-profit service center as a Case Manager. It's a bit like a social worker, except that I won't be dealing with children and childcare issues. I'm supposed to help low-income families get affordable housing and employment. Most of the clients are Latinos, so I'll be utilizing my Spanish. Finally. I'm slightly hesitant about my language skills, but part of the interview was in Spanish, so I'm hoping it's good enough.

I'll be saying Adios to the temp on Friday. I have to say, with all things said and done (mainly bitching about it), I've learned quite a lot from this temp. First of all, the office was a completely different country. I learned some valuable business Japanese and customs. ( I do have some issues with the custom part, but I digress.) I learned a teeeeeeeeeeeeeeensy bit about banking. ( Minuscule, but at least it's something.) And most of all, the people were really nice. In the beginning, they were a bit confused as to how much Japanese I understood, or how much about Japan I knew and had experienced. There were times when they would ask me a question equivalent to "Do you know what a hamburger is?" and other times when they expected me to know complex structures of Japanese corporations. It's given my a prospective on how gray my position is in the wider spectrum of what it means to be Japanese, and Japanese American. I don't want to get all preachy and analytical, so I'll leave it at that.

I'm excited for my new job, and I'm sad about leaving the people at this one. But that's what I do. I move on to the next.

Oh by the way...

It's this person's birthday pretty soon...



I've been soooooo lacking in the picture department... I'll try to fix that.


Sunday, November 26, 2006

Going hollywood

I'm currently going Hollywood and whitening my coffee-stained teef. I say teef because that is how I am currently pronouncing words that usually utilize your teef.

First reaction. This thing is making me salivate like crazy. I suppose that's what peroxide does besides bleaching things?

Second reaction. It's making my lips dry.

I had doubts about this thing, but I've heard many positive testimonials, AND, Queer Eye endorses them! We trust them gays, right?

The only thing is that it does make your teef sensitive (temporarily) so I'm going to do it once a day instead of twice a day as it suggests.

Oh my God, the gel from the strips has turned my finger tip white. Oh my God, I'm turning into Michael Jackson.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

This may sound a little dark but...

I once told a friend that I spend far more time thinking about my funeral than my wedding, and she told me that I was really dark.  

But it's true.

I'm not trying to be unique or anything.  I just don't think about a wedding.  Ok, I think about a wedding dress some times, but I also think about what I'm going to wear Friday on Monday morning.  (  It's the only neurotic part of me, I believe.  I'm pretty specific about clothes.)

Mainly, I don't think about weddings because I have 0 desire to get married. I may not have a wedding at all, but I am DEFINITELY going to have a funeral.  In fact, I give you all the responsibility of setting one up.  I have faith that I have enough people who care about me to put together my funeral.

I want to take this opportunity to write out some of my desires in place of a living will.  We all know from Terri Schivo how important a living will is.  

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to die right now.  Yes, I eventually want to die.  I'm not much for immortality; life is too hard.  But I don't plan on leaving here until I've done all I want and that is not for DEEEEECAADES.  Chill.

First off, if I was in a vegetative state, PLEASE pull the plug.  No judgment against anyone, but it's just my style.  

Second, I also want to be cremated.  Rotting 6 feet under in a box is also not really my style.  I understand how people want to keep their bodies "just in case", but for me, once I'm dead, I'm pretty dead. I haven't yet decided where I want my ashes.  I've entertained the idea of spreading it across the sea, but I also can't quite let go of the idea of having one concrete spot where I rest.  I want to come back here, to Los Angeles.  That gives me the option of ocean and land.  But my exact spot is yet to be determined.

Ok, so now about my ceremony.

I don't want to require people to wear black.  I once read how no one wore black at Jim Henson's funeral.  At the end, in place of a eulogy, the puppeteers got up with their puppets and sang "Imagine" by John Lennon.  I thought that was a beautiful idea.  I won't restrict anyone from wearing black, because a friend once also told me that people have to mourn at a funeral.  But if you feel like lightening the day with brighter colors, that's fine too.

I remember my grandfather's funeral where everyone gave incenses and it was very solemn and sacred.  I think that's beautiful, but what I have in mind is something more celebratory.  Since I don't really belong to any church, I mainly just want people to gather and talk about the memories of me that they remember most.  Yes, I am self centered. It should be spiritual, but triumphant about the fact that I (hopefully) had led a full and great life.

I don't want a fancy coffin.  Those things cost a fortune, and I'm going to be cremated anyway.  Just some basic one would be fine, as long as it's not made of cardboard or something. There's a KISS coffin that "allows fans to rock in peace forever with their favorite band," and "can also be used as a Giant KISS Cooler, enabling fans and their friends to enjoy ice-cold beer."    That is the exact opposite of what I want.

I'll stop here because I feel I've written too much about this.  I'm scared my parents will get mad at me for writing about dying.  Remember, I don't want to die yet.  Not one bit.  I just, you know, like thinking about people gathering together for me.  

To lighten the post up a little bit, here's a potential wedding dress:

I get pretty plain when it comes to elegant shiz. I like this dress, but with a different neckline.


Wednesday, November 15, 2006


What the hell was Fox thinking, and even more so, what the hell was OJ thinking when he gave an interview about how he would have killed his wife and friends? And WHHYYYY is this a 2 night event????

This is why my TV watching has been strictly on the FoodNetwork channel, no joke.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

To be Rich or To be Good, that is the question...

I'm in a dilemma. A cul-de-sac. A crisis. Or some what.

I am facing two different job options. One that will make me slightly rich, and one that will make me a slightly good person.

Which do I choose??????

I believe that there are many types of people in the world. Two of those types are people who want to become rich, and people who dedicate their lives on doing good things. Most of the inhabitants of this world, I believe, are in the healthy middle. So, when presented with the two options like the one above, what does one do?

I generally don't have judgments against either groups of people. There are assholes (no doubt) within the get-rich-or-die-tryin group of people. But, a lot of people who want to become rich just want to live in comfort, and I see nothing wrong with that. After all, they contribute to the great cycle known as the economy, which is what makes our stupid country so powerful and livable.

I'm not going to lie. I want to become rich. I don't want to be filthy rich, but I do want to have enough assets and live my life comfortably without any realistic restrictions. But, I'm also equally serious when I say that I want to bring positives things into this society, and to be an actual contribution to the progress of other people's lives. So... the question is.... How do you find a balance? How do you find a balance between your desire and your conscience and live a healthy successful life?

From observing different situations, it seems like people do one first and then the other. They get rich first and then give back. Or, they do good things first, and then they focus on themselves. But how do you do that? What if you get into a non-profit that pays shit, in hopes of getting somewhere greater, but end up scraping the bottom for the rest of your life? Or, if you get into a big corporation and move your way up, but can't quite get out of it because money is such a sweet drug?

People say, that if you find what you're passionate about, then nothing should matter. Not money, not anything. But, what if you really don't know what you're passionate about? I find it rare for people my age to truly be passionate about something and be passionate about it for the rest of our lives. But, they say that now is the crucial starting point of your career path. How do you deal with everything?? How am I supposed to find what I want to do for the rest of my life while constructing a sure way to be successful and good?

It's too much. My head is about to explode.

In the end, I think this is an ultimate cry against growing up. It's an ultimate opposition against responsibilities. The three words that keep circulating in my head are "I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna." But, I am an adult. I am obligated to fulfill certain roles and requirements. It sucks but everyone has to do it. All I want, though, is to find the answer, to find out what I'm really supposed to be doing.

They say that you're supposed to dedicate your life in finding that out.

that sucks.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I wish...

aaahh, what i would give for that.


P.S. We took back the House y'all!! Now it's all on Virginia.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Conspiracy of the day....

Conspiracy of the Day:

Saddam Hussein was sentenced to death this morning, right before the midterm election...

The End.

It was taken out of context.

Maybe it's because of the looming election, but, I've been increasingly impatient with people who don't take responsibilities for their own comments. I don't understand how people can blame others, but I especially don't understand how people can take very clear and non-ambiguous comments and say they were, "taken out of context." If you say something like, "That girl is a raging bitch," you can't go back and say that it was taken out of context. People who only hear that statement will get the same idea as the people who have been participating in the conversation all along. Unless you meant that the girl was actually a female dog, as in the animal with four legs and fur, there's no other way of understanding that sentence. You can't blame anyone else for bad-mouthing a person you don't like. Own up to it!! That is the one thing I can admire about Rush Limbaugh, despite the fact that he is basically the scum of this universe. He does own up to his comment and run with it, however screwed-up and bigoted it can be. ( Poor example, but I couldn't think of someone else at the top of my head. It's 3AM.)

In other un-related news, here is a photo re-cap of Saturday night:

Food Porn



What can I say. It was only days after Halloween, and there were random costumes lying around.