I'm in a dilemma. A cul-de-sac. A crisis. Or some what.
I am facing two different job options. One that will make me slightly rich, and one that will make me a slightly good person.
Which do I choose??????
I believe that there are many types of people in the world. Two of those types are people who want to become rich, and people who dedicate their lives on doing good things. Most of the inhabitants of this world, I believe, are in the healthy middle. So, when presented with the two options like the one above, what does one do?
I generally don't have judgments against either groups of people. There are assholes (no doubt) within the get-rich-or-die-tryin group of people. But, a lot of people who want to become rich just want to live in comfort, and I see nothing wrong with that. After all, they contribute to the great cycle known as the economy, which is what makes our stupid country so powerful and livable.
I'm not going to lie. I want to become rich. I don't want to be filthy rich, but I do want to have enough assets and live my life comfortably without any realistic restrictions. But, I'm also equally serious when I say that I want to bring positives things into this society, and to be an actual contribution to the progress of other people's lives. So... the question is.... How do you find a balance? How do you find a balance between your desire and your conscience and live a healthy successful life?
From observing different situations, it seems like people do one first and then the other. They get rich first and then give back. Or, they do good things first, and then they focus on themselves. But how do you do that? What if you get into a non-profit that pays shit, in hopes of getting somewhere greater, but end up scraping the bottom for the rest of your life? Or, if you get into a big corporation and move your way up, but can't quite get out of it because money is such a sweet drug?
People say, that if you find what you're passionate about, then nothing should matter. Not money, not anything. But, what if you really don't know what you're passionate about? I find it rare for people my age to truly be passionate about something and be passionate about it for the rest of our lives. But, they say that now is the crucial starting point of your career path. How do you deal with everything?? How am I supposed to find what I want to do for the rest of my life while constructing a sure way to be successful and good?
It's too much. My head is about to explode.
In the end, I think this is an ultimate cry against growing up. It's an ultimate opposition against responsibilities. The three words that keep circulating in my head are "I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna." But, I am an adult. I am obligated to fulfill certain roles and requirements. It sucks but everyone has to do it. All I want, though, is to find the answer, to find out what I'm really supposed to be doing.
They say that you're supposed to dedicate your life in finding that out.