Saturday, November 18, 2006

This may sound a little dark but...

I once told a friend that I spend far more time thinking about my funeral than my wedding, and she told me that I was really dark.  

But it's true.

I'm not trying to be unique or anything.  I just don't think about a wedding.  Ok, I think about a wedding dress some times, but I also think about what I'm going to wear Friday on Monday morning.  (  It's the only neurotic part of me, I believe.  I'm pretty specific about clothes.)

Mainly, I don't think about weddings because I have 0 desire to get married. I may not have a wedding at all, but I am DEFINITELY going to have a funeral.  In fact, I give you all the responsibility of setting one up.  I have faith that I have enough people who care about me to put together my funeral.

I want to take this opportunity to write out some of my desires in place of a living will.  We all know from Terri Schivo how important a living will is.  

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to die right now.  Yes, I eventually want to die.  I'm not much for immortality; life is too hard.  But I don't plan on leaving here until I've done all I want and that is not for DEEEEECAADES.  Chill.

First off, if I was in a vegetative state, PLEASE pull the plug.  No judgment against anyone, but it's just my style.  

Second, I also want to be cremated.  Rotting 6 feet under in a box is also not really my style.  I understand how people want to keep their bodies "just in case", but for me, once I'm dead, I'm pretty dead. I haven't yet decided where I want my ashes.  I've entertained the idea of spreading it across the sea, but I also can't quite let go of the idea of having one concrete spot where I rest.  I want to come back here, to Los Angeles.  That gives me the option of ocean and land.  But my exact spot is yet to be determined.

Ok, so now about my ceremony.

I don't want to require people to wear black.  I once read how no one wore black at Jim Henson's funeral.  At the end, in place of a eulogy, the puppeteers got up with their puppets and sang "Imagine" by John Lennon.  I thought that was a beautiful idea.  I won't restrict anyone from wearing black, because a friend once also told me that people have to mourn at a funeral.  But if you feel like lightening the day with brighter colors, that's fine too.

I remember my grandfather's funeral where everyone gave incenses and it was very solemn and sacred.  I think that's beautiful, but what I have in mind is something more celebratory.  Since I don't really belong to any church, I mainly just want people to gather and talk about the memories of me that they remember most.  Yes, I am self centered. It should be spiritual, but triumphant about the fact that I (hopefully) had led a full and great life.

I don't want a fancy coffin.  Those things cost a fortune, and I'm going to be cremated anyway.  Just some basic one would be fine, as long as it's not made of cardboard or something. There's a KISS coffin that "allows fans to rock in peace forever with their favorite band," and "can also be used as a Giant KISS Cooler, enabling fans and their friends to enjoy ice-cold beer."    That is the exact opposite of what I want.

I'll stop here because I feel I've written too much about this.  I'm scared my parents will get mad at me for writing about dying.  Remember, I don't want to die yet.  Not one bit.  I just, you know, like thinking about people gathering together for me.  

To lighten the post up a little bit, here's a potential wedding dress:

I get pretty plain when it comes to elegant shiz. I like this dress, but with a different neckline.



Anonymous said...

If you do wear this dress (w/ a different neckline por supuesto) please wear it with more pizazz (like I know you will). This model looks pretty frumpy and pissed off. If you look/feel that way on your wedding day, you ain't should be getting married, lady.


Anonymous said...

hello. public living will this time!!

-ur master