Metro Stories

About once a month, I encounter some abnormal behaviors on the Metro.

First comes the Flasher with the Afro
I was sitting across from this huge black guy with a bigger afro, which was kept under a fishing hat. The hat's top was missing, so the bush was standing high. He seemed nonchalant. Then, he spread his legs, and held out his penis out of his basketball shorts. The other people sitting next to me were all women, and we were a bit stunned. I couldn't take it so I moved to another seat. He turned out to be a homeless man that kept riding the train. Once we reached the final stop on the line, he got out and went across the track to the train that was leaving to go the opposite direction. Freak.

Then comes The Phantom of Heavy Metal
This guy wasn't very threatening. He didn't attack anyone nor did he show anyone anything one would not want to see. His only offense was singing out loud at 8AM in the morning, and "singing" along to death metal, no less. His exact lyrics were, "Fuck mankind, Fuck my kind, Fuck all man, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!" He had gloves on (in August) with skeleton hands printed on them. Actually, his other offense was taking up more than one seat by putting his feet up. In the end, I think that bothered me more than the alleged singing.

Then today.

Stalker with the Bible
People making small talk on the train is not so unusual, but sometimes you meet rather "special" individuals. Today, on my way home I was reading my book, when a guy around my age came up to me and started chatting about nothing. I got the sense that he was hitting on me, so I dismissed the whole thing as trivial and nothing to be concerned about. I noticed that the only thing he was holding was the Bible, but again, not threatening. I got off the subway and briskly walked toward the next train, when I noticed that the same guy was walking right behind me. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed that he must be going on the same train. However, I was also weirded out so I sped up. He sped up too. I ran up the three flights of stairs and he was on my tail. Eventually, the guy was literally running after me. I got scared so I ran even faster towards the train and finally got on and sat next to someone so he couldn't sit next to me. But, he sat directly behind me. I slightly felt his breath on my neck, and got even more freaked out. I called my friend Naoko and explained the whole thing to her in Japanese. For a moment, because of his Bible, I feared he might be Mormon, and might have gone to Japan for his mission, and therefore would know all the shit I was saying about him. However, I grew up with a lot of Mormons and I was pretty sure he was not holding the Book of Mormon, and for the most part, they're not threatening. After hearing my situation, Naoko suggested that I get off the next station, and catch the next train that comes, as to not reveal my actual location of my hometown to this freak. I did just that, and he didn't follow me, so this story ends with relief.

Naoko asked if it was a possibility that he just wanted to talk about God to me because I looked like a Believer. I doubt it, because if he was, then that was the worst way possible to spread the word of Jesus. It can almost act as aversion therapy. I do not approve.

Not all Metro People are stalkers and flashers. One of the subway conductors greets us through the intercom like this, "Goooooood Morning, good morning, GOOD MORNING!! It's a beautiful day, it's a beautiful Monday. Please don't run in the station because you will fall, and now, why would you want to do that to yourselves? Take care of yourselves. Life is beautiful. Today is a beautiful day." He makes me laugh because I feel like I'm hearing someone from Sesame Streets on the dirty old subway.

That's all that has happened to me in the last 3 months that I've been taking the Metro. We'll see what happends in the next 3 months.