I scaled back this week and ran 14 miles, because I was feeling tired from the 17ish miles I ran last week. It's interesting how long certain fatigues can linger, and this one really stuck throughout the week. I've realized that what I had faced last Sunday was the notorious "wall" that people talk about, when running a marathon. When I realized that, it made me more upset that I had quit and gone home. It made me more upset that I had quit, because I will very likely hit the "wall" during the actual marathon, and I might quit and not finish the race like I did last Sunday.
With that on my back, I woke up Saturday not wanting to go out and run. I woke up later than usual, and loaded up my iPod with some pod-casts, but I was not feeling it. I started listening to some music while warming up with some dynamic movements, and finally felt like going outside. This whole process took about 2 hours. I hate it when I do this. It is the biggest waste of time, and I do it often.
I rarely listen to music on my long runs, simply because 2 hours of music is not as stimulating to me as 3 pod-casts show about current events, jokes, and other stories (i.e. Fresh Air, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, and This American Life). However, I ran the 14 miles yesterday with just music, and I felt myself going faster than usual. I love running music that has a similar tempo as a heartbeat, with a strong cadence. I love cadence that is almost marching-band-like, with heavy snare, or a simple bass. Usually, when I listen to music while running, there is one song that keeps me going and keeps me really digging into my muscles to muster up the strength to lift my leg and conquer the ground. These songs are never profound or emotionally moving songs, but a song with a catchy rhythm. During my last marathon, it was "Get Em High" by Kanye West ft. Talib Kwali. This particular run was "Say it in a Love Song" by Alicia Keys ft. Beyonce. I told you that they are never profound songs. Catchy does the job well.
It was also a beautiful day in the 40s, which hasn't happened in a month. I was actually sweating a LOT and feeling warmth that I hadn't in a while. It felt good, and I'm glad that I had gone out to run, even though I wasn't feeling it.
I sadly have no photos to share, because my camera is no longer with us. I don't have enough discretionary funds to buy a new one... so I am weighing my options.
I don't know when I'm going to tackle that 20 again. I think it might be next week, but I'm honestly losing some confidence. To be frank, there are a lot of things that I am feeling less sure about when it comes to running these days. Ironically, the one thing that frees me from these thoughts is running. So, I guess I'll just keep going outside and face the cement jungle.