Sunday, January 10, 2010

No to perfectionists

Today was a failed run. I did not run 20 miles.

Training for a marathon takes a lot of planning. Planning when to run, how long to run, when to not run, what to eat, how to eat... etc etc. I admit that training for marathons have made me into someone of habits, with some compulsive behaviors. I don't like being thrown off from my training schedule, and I don't like not being able to complete what I had proposed to do.

That said, I've also learned that being a perfectionist is not conducive to successful training. Shit happens. I'm the type of perfectionist that would rather not do something if it won't be done the way that I want it to be done (as opposed to the type A perfectionists). I've been able to slightly change that behavior, and it's definitely kept a positive spin on my marathon training, and life.

This slight change of state of mind was evident today. I went out last night for a birthday celebration for my roommate. I had planned on only staying an hour. I wanted to come home early, eat a late dinner (as opposed to the grease bombs that were served at the bar), and go to bed by 1AM to wake up at 9AM so I could be out the door by 10AM for my 20 mile run.

Here's what actually happened: I had fun. The drinks were cheap, the company great, and I was able to have really entertaining conversations with some new friends I had made in the last couple of months. As a newbie in town, you do have to make an effort to go out and make some connections. I've been trying to do that a lot more, and I realized that I couldn't just leave, after having only been there an hour. I ended up coming home at 2AM, ate, and going to bed at 3AM, and waking up at 10:45AM, and out the door at 12:00PM.

I've never been out this late for a long run, especially as long as 20 miles. I decided to do some different rounds of Central Park to make it 20, but was not successful. First, it was 25 degrees, which is below freezing. Granted, I had all my gears on, but my finger tips and toes lost feeling after around the 3rd hour. I also had drank more beer than usual last night, and wasn't feeling 100%. There was one moment where I felt like I was in a daze. I was definitely conscious, but felt a weird sleepy sensation coming over my body. I'm a paranoid WebMD person, and had read that drowsy-ness is a sign of hypothermia. While I knew that I wasn't cold enough to have hypothermia, I knew that it wasn't normal to feel that way. I ate some gummy sugar supplements and tried to finish the last 6 miles of my route. However, after the 3rd mile, I saw the sun starting to set a little bit, and a darkness that I wasn't used to started covering the park. I was also just plain tired of running. I wasn't tired. I could have gone another 3 miles. I was just tired of running. I made a deal with myself that I would continue running if I didn't see a bus, but right when I decided that, I saw my bus right in front of me. If that isn't a divine intervention or some extraterrestrial power telling me to get my ass home, I don't know what is. Needless to say, I'm disappointed about not completing the 20 miles. But, I am also conscious about being flexible and not being a destructive perfectionist. I ran 17 miles, and I'm going to swallow that as progress, even if it's not a success.

I'm home now, and I did a little of something that I should do more often: stretching.

I also did something I've never done before recently: bought 2 pairs of running shoes. I decided that I needed a regular pair of running shoes and a pair of trail running shoes for this somewhat snowy and icy winter. You like? That's me stretching (questionably) and showing you my new kicks at the same time.

I'm still a little bit annoyed about those last 3 miles that I didn't run. I'll get over it, because I made some potentially good friends yesterday.

P.S. My camera won't turn on. Batteries are charged, and it won't turn on!! GAHHH!!


Chelsea said...

so are you doing all of your training solo? if so, that is incredible! I trained with a training program, and having the other people around and knowing that I was expected to show really helped my motivation. but then again, I was not super-motivated like you, girl!

17 miles is freaking awesome, especially in sub-freezing temps after a night of beer drinking!

Lisa said...

thanks for the props. :) i decided to train here by myself to run in LA, so that i'll keep running during the winter.

i love love love your outfits! i love clothes too, but new york has made me into a mainly-black-outfit girl...