No to perfectionists

Today was a failed run. I did not run 20 miles.

Training for a marathon takes a lot of planning. Planning when to run, how long to run, when to not run, what to eat, how to eat... etc etc. I admit that training for marathons have made me into someone of habits, with some compulsive behaviors. I don't like being thrown off from my training schedule, and I don't like not being able to complete what I had proposed to do.

That said, I've also learned that being a perfectionist is not conducive to successful training. Shit happens. I'm the type of perfectionist that would rather not do something if it won't be done the way that I want it to be done (as opposed to the type A perfectionists). I've been able to slightly change that behavior, and it's definitely kept a positive spin on my marathon training, and life.

This slight change of state of mind was evident today. I went out last night for a birthday celebration for my roommate. I had planned on only staying an hour. I wanted to come home early, eat a late dinner (as opposed to the grease bombs that were served at the bar), and go to bed by 1AM to wake up at 9AM so I could be out the door by 10AM for my 20 mile run.

Here's what actually happened: I had fun. The drinks were cheap, the company great, and I was able to have really entertaining conversations with some new friends I had made in the last couple of months. As a newbie in town, you do have to make an effort to go out and make some connections. I've been trying to do that a lot more, and I realized that I couldn't just leave, after having only been there an hour. I ended up coming home at 2AM, ate, and going to bed at 3AM, and waking up at 10:45AM, and out the door at 12:00PM.

I've never been out this late for a long run, especially as long as 20 miles. I decided to do some different rounds of Central Park to make it 20, but was not successful. First, it was 25 degrees, which is below freezing. Granted, I had all my gears on, but my finger tips and toes lost feeling after around the 3rd hour. I also had drank more beer than usual last night, and wasn't feeling 100%. There was one moment where I felt like I was in a daze. I was definitely conscious, but felt a weird sleepy sensation coming over my body. I'm a paranoid WebMD person, and had read that drowsy-ness is a sign of hypothermia. While I knew that I wasn't cold enough to have hypothermia, I knew that it wasn't normal to feel that way. I ate some gummy sugar supplements and tried to finish the last 6 miles of my route. However, after the 3rd mile, I saw the sun starting to set a little bit, and a darkness that I wasn't used to started covering the park. I was also just plain tired of running. I wasn't tired. I could have gone another 3 miles. I was just tired of running. I made a deal with myself that I would continue running if I didn't see a bus, but right when I decided that, I saw my bus right in front of me. If that isn't a divine intervention or some extraterrestrial power telling me to get my ass home, I don't know what is. Needless to say, I'm disappointed about not completing the 20 miles. But, I am also conscious about being flexible and not being a destructive perfectionist. I ran 17 miles, and I'm going to swallow that as progress, even if it's not a success.

I'm home now, and I did a little of something that I should do more often: stretching.

I also did something I've never done before recently: bought 2 pairs of running shoes. I decided that I needed a regular pair of running shoes and a pair of trail running shoes for this somewhat snowy and icy winter. You like? That's me stretching (questionably) and showing you my new kicks at the same time.

I'm still a little bit annoyed about those last 3 miles that I didn't run. I'll get over it, because I made some potentially good friends yesterday.

P.S. My camera won't turn on. Batteries are charged, and it won't turn on!! GAHHH!!