Tuesday, January 23, 2007

With A Grain of Salt

There are certain things people tell you that seem like a compliment, but it turns out that it isn't. Or it is a nice comment, but you always take it negatively.

There's always the "You look tired," comment which is basically a way of saying "You look like shit." Celebrities say the same when people tell them that they look better in real life. Those are the typical back-hand comments. Here are some comments that I personally find a bit offensive.

"You haven't changed at all."
This depends. I mostly hate people telling me this if it was from someone with whom I went to high school, mostly because I feel like I 've changed so much since then. Perhaps it's because I feel emotionally older. ( God, I hope I am. It's been years.) But I feel like I have a different image of myself. I do welcome this comment, though, if it's someone I hadn't seen in a while. Recently, I got together with a guy who I hadn't seen for literally 10+ years, and it was really nice hearing him say that I hadn't changed since then. Perhaps this is my growing elderly side that is slowly clinging on to the youth I once had.

"You're SO cute!"
I take this comment with a grain of salt. One of my guy friends yelled at me about this, saying, "What is it with girls and hating the word cute? It's the ultimate compliment to be called cute!!" I guess... To me, it just sounds patronizing. Like I'm being talked down to, and God knows I don't really need that since almost everyone is literally talking down to me. I mean, I do enjoy it sometimes and it is a word I use too.
I especially hate it when girls who are younger than me call me cute. It's as if I'm not being taken seriously. When I was teaching in Spain, I overheard one of my students calling me cute in Spanish, after I had gone to her desk to help her with her phrasal verbs. A 13 year old!! I do not need that.
I also don't enjoy it when women overuse the word. "I'm feeling cute, so let's get cute together, and have a cute dinner." It's like pink cupcakes with pink frosting and pink sprinkles. I hate sprinkles and I hate frosting and I hate non-chocolate cupcakes.

Mainly, I just don't like to be looked at a way that I don't imagine myself to be. Let me make things clear: I'm not the person I was 5 years ago, I don't like most girly shit, and I'm not a tiny little Smurf that people seem to think I am. It's just hard to get the message across when you are a stumpy pint size Asian girl with a rather high voice. Perhaps it's time I grow a mustache and a mullet to beef things up a little bit. We shall see.


Patrick said...

you are a bad ass mamma jamma

how's that?

Anonymous said...

ditto. not feeling rather verbose at this momentito. some things i don't feel ditto but overall feel is ditto.
yes? ok ditto. yvonne ditto.

Anonymous said...

i think u already got the mustache down.

who am i???