Lisa Speaks

You think you're the only one

2011-11-08T18:23:00.000-08:00

but you're not. Everyone feels just as shitty when things are hard, as you do.

Lesson learned.

Ugh.

2011-11-07T14:21:00.001-08:00

Sometimes... actually a lot of times, I sit in class listening to what people say and I get really jealous when one of my classmates asks a really good question. There are a lot of times when I think a question asked is not relevant, but there are definitely moments where I kick myself for not coming up with the particular type of question that stems from a shrewd analysis.

Not my week of confidence, if you couldn't tell.

What law school has been.

2011-11-06T17:12:00.000-08:00

Law school is not easy. But it's also not impossible.

So far, I've really enjoyed what I've learned, and wish I can stay here and learn forever. It hasn't been easy, but what it has been is an exercise of expanding my mental capacity. When I say expanding my mental capacity, I don't mean that in a broaden-my-horizon way. I mean testing how much information I could fit in my brain and applying that information to a new set of information I am reading at the moment.

So far, I haven't had an opportunity to be creative about legal analysis, and have been going by the books. I kind of like that, at the moment. I like being told what to do and doing it properly. I don't expect to enjoy this kind of didactic learning forever, but I appreciate it right now as I buckle down on the basics.

My favorite colors of the year

2011-11-05T17:22:00.000-07:00

When the city looks like this, it makes me really happy to be in an area with seasons.

Blah.

2011-11-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

Blah.

I know this doesn't count as a legitimate blog post, but it'll have to do for today.

I wish I was smarter.

2011-11-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

I know I'm not an idiot, but I wish I was smarter.

Sometimes, I get really frustrated about how persistently mediocre I am. My abilities are SO B-grade, that it's maddening. There are also days when I feel straight up incompetent, beyond anything resembling intelligence.

Today was one of those days.

I have never really been The Best at anything, so I'm pretty used to being around people who are better than me at something. Even if I'm used to it, though, once in a while it irritates me to no end that I am really not the best at ANYTHING. Not even the best. I'm not even good at what I really want to excel.

You hear these little motivational advices when you're younger. "Everyone is good at something." "You're special in your own way." These Marlo-Thomas-Free-To-Be-You type of teachings. I didn't necessarily grow up with those types of teachings all the time, but I thought I'd find something that I could really own as a skill set I could brag about. Instead, I'm finding myself feeling totally and utterly average.

Ugh. I need to snap out of this.

"You look like you're 18."

2011-11-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

I get this statement said to me by non-Asian people. I KNOW I don't look 18. I know I look young, but that's cause I am. I have enough older friends in my life to know that I am no where near a point in my life to be complaining about my age.

Older white guys sometime hit on me and say I don't look a day over 18. This TOTALLY creeps me out. What the hell are you doing hitting on a girl who looks 18????

But then again, I look at the shit I wear. Today, it's a pleather jacket, heart skirt, and cowboy boots. I won't say that I deserve this kind of attention, but I can't help but dress young at heart. And by young, I don't mean slutty. I just mean immaturely.

Tab-u-lously starting NaBloPoMo

2011-11-01T18:37:00.000-07:00

I have a test tomorrow regarding that book above, and we're allowed to bring the book with us. Tab-u-lous! (In my head, I'm saying it like the Orbitz gum girl.)

In law school, there are very few opportunities to test your abilities and find out the result of your efforts, before the final exam. This test is one of 4 such opportunities. I am not a big fan of this model, but it also makes me take every single thing I do very seriously.

In Japan, admission to undergrad depends on one single test. I always thought that I was so lucky to have been raised here and gone through this country's school system to not have to deal with rigorous test preparation. Who would have thought that I would voluntarily put myself into a similar academic model.

OHWELLZZZ.

BTW, don't you love that color of blue? It's one of my favorite colors.

make up

2011-10-11T18:34:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how different make-up changes a look. I wish I looked like a hot tranny everyday, but I'm just stuck with this.

Proudest

2011-10-10T18:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend was my little sister's wedding, and I couldn't be prouder. The best part of the whole thing were all of the kind words people had to say about my family.

We were a bit tired, especially because I was wearing false eyelashes. It felt like I was giving everyone bedroom-eyes throughout the entire night. It also made me feel a bit like a tranny. But trannies are gorgeous, so I can only be so lucky.

Short Break!

2011-10-07T06:56:00.001-07:00

Be back in a bit!

Privilege

2011-10-05T17:40:00.000-07:00

I went to an arraignment today for my Criminal Law class. An arraignment is a formal reading of criminal complaint in the presence of the defendant. This is where defendants enter a plea bargain.

I left with sadness, because all of the defendants except for one person were black young men. I was sitting there with the rest of my classmates and it was clear how privileged we were.

That's all for tonight.

Today's cause of joy is brought to you by...

2011-10-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

Aetna!

I'm officially insured (retroactively to 08/01/2011)!!

My health insurance card arrived today. I haven't been insured since May, so this is a relief!

Signs of single-lazy

2011-10-03T18:18:00.000-07:00

Signs of single-person-complecancy:

I eat out of a pot and eat a whole carrot stick without chopping it up.

Shorts, no longer

2011-10-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

I wore a long-sleeved shirt and capri running leggings today for the first time since summer. It was 54 degrees outside before I left for my run, and it felt crisp.

I LOVE fall running days.

This picture makes it look like I stretch before I run, but I consciously do not stretch before a run. I've been told multiple times that it is bad to stretch cold muscles, so I usually start out with dynamic movements (like swinging arms and legs back and forth) if I'm good. Most of the time, I'm not good, so I step out and just run. Oh WELLZ.

I'm also listening to WNYC right now, and there is a song they are playing now with the lyrics "There's a Starbucks where the Starbucks used to be." I thought I heard it wrong, but it is an actual song.

Humbled

2011-10-01T17:56:00.000-07:00

I got a copy of the Pacific Citizen today, and I was in it.

Nice way to end the night!

It's mirror-imaged, because that's how the Apple Photobooth rolls.

Pooped

2011-09-30T17:20:00.000-07:00

It's Friday night and I just finished everything I wanted to do today.

I went on an AM run, read a little, and did a 4 hr training for a program called Court Advocate Program. It's a pro-bono program where law school students help domestic violence victims file an order of protection, i.e. retraining orders. It was really interesting. And then I read some more.

I'm so cool to be doing this on a Friday night... New York City is apparently the city with the highest percentage (number?) of single un-married women. I'm definitely contributing to that statistics...

On the flip side, I'm working really hard this weekend because, unlike me, my sister is getting married next weekend! I can't tell you how excited I am for her. And despite what I just said above, pure happiness is the only thing I feel about her wedding. I'm looking forward to spending a great day with everyone I love. It's what gets me through the night when I'm tired as I am right now.

Listening to mother

2011-09-29T19:14:00.000-07:00

One of the things my mom says periodically is that money-saving starts by cutting out daily cafe-bought coffee.

I used to be awesome with this, but ever since law school started, I've been purchasing coffee everyday at the school cafeteria. I already carry enough shit around, and don't think far enough to shove my tumbler into my book bag. The other thing about buying coffee is that I get to enjoy a fresh cup of coffee more often, which is key. Especially for a black coffee drinker. (Milk kills the acidic taste that old coffee has.) I don't care about my coffee being fancy and expensive, but I do care that it's fresh.

Anyhoo, I'm trying to be better. I bought my tumbler that I bought in Japan today, and enjoyed my free cup of coffee from home. Imma try to keep that up, but no promises.

I need new jeans...

2011-09-28T15:36:00.001-07:00

Right?

Fashion cliché

2011-09-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

I don't usually feel like a fashion trend cliché because I don't usually strictly adhere to trendy clothes. For example, I have yet to purchase skinny jeans. Skinny jeans make me look like a hipster guy wearing skinny jeans.

Anyway, this navy striped shirt makes me feel like a cliché because everyone else on the street is wearing a horizontal stripped shirt.

Oh wells.

P.S. There are fireworks going off along the East River, and it is scaring the LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME. I haven't been able to handle the sound of fireworks since I was a kid. It sounds like a war zone. MAKE IT STOP.

Panda Lisa

2011-09-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

Today's picture is in honor of Peter's call for Panda Photos.

Panda!

Energy!

2011-09-25T16:34:00.000-07:00

There is not a lack of bakeries in New York City, and I've managed to find a favorite bakery in each neighborhood that I've lived in (which is just... 2... ).

My current favorite bakery is Damascus Bakery in Cobble Hill, because they bake the most amazing pillow-y pita bread I have ever tasted. PLUS! They're A DOLLAR A BAG. A DOLLA.

I go by the bakery on the weekend after my long run. Today, the man behind the counter smiled when he saw what a sweaty mess I was. He said, "This will give you plenty of energy!" and handed me a warm bag of pita and my change.

I mean... I don't even stand a chance.

Thank Black

2011-09-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

There are many things that I'm thankful about my upbringing, but one of the biggest thing that I am grateful about is the lack of dependence my parents had on sugary drinks to raise us kids. We didn't grow up on juice or soda, but mainly drank barley tea or water.

Or coffee.

I don't know if I'm entirely thankful of my inherited dependence on coffee, but I am very thankful that (in the least) it is a dependence of black coffee. Especially now, when it's even more crucial to be attentive, I am glad that I can guzzle away my coffee without serious weight gain consequences. Other side effects, I can't really tell yet.

Cheers to black coffee!

I'm red because I tried.

2011-09-23T18:28:00.000-07:00

I went out beer-drinking bowling today with a student group. I tried. I had fun. But then, they wanted to go out allllllll the way into the night. I was the oldest one there, and I just couldn't.

But hey! At least I tried! And now I'm red, because I had beer.

It was really bad lighting so I had to take down my lamp to show you that I'm red. Despite my efforts, I don't think you can tell...

Hunting down the free-dom

2011-09-22T14:50:00.000-07:00

There's a farmer's market on my way to my school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. One particular stand sometimes hands out whole peaches as a sample, and I pass by every Tuesday and Thursday to make sure to snatch it up. It's not often when free produce is handed out, and I am pretty sick of free pizza at this point. (Although, I am NEVER tired of free coffee.)

As a student, it's always a hunt for these free things that are of nutritional value. I will continue my hunt for these little treats.

(P.S. For the farmer offering these samples... I promise to be a loyal paying customer once I get a job after I graduate from law school and I end up staying in the neighborhood.)

PUSH ME

2011-09-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

I had the best run I've had in a LONG TIME this morning.

Running outside means you're part of the public. Sometimes, you come across other runners. When you're in a city like New York, where EVERYONE is a runner, it even gets a little competitive amongst strangers. You find yourself trying to keep up with other strangers, and you end up running faster than you intended. I am severely apprehensive about actively running with other people, so these moments are the only times I actually feel like I'm running with someone.

The above happened to me this morning but, infinitely better. This women was right next to me the entire time I ran across the Brooklyn Bridge back to Brooklyn. We were neck and neck. One passed the other for a second, and the other caught up right away. At a certain point, our eyes met, and we silently acknowledged each other, and it became almost like a race. We were BLITZING. HARD. At the end of the race, we ran so hard and well that we high five-ed each other. It was the greatest example of running camaraderie. She screamed "GREAT JOB!!" and I sincerely thanked her for the competition. I don't know what her name is, nor where she's from. But she pushed me to my limit this morning, and I couldn't thank her enough for letting me start out my day accomplishing something I normally don't get to do.

I know this is more reason to find a running team... I hope I get to that some day.

The picture is me in complete elation, right before I took a shower for my 9AM class.

Elation can sometimes look like crazy. Just sayin.

YESH

2011-09-20T17:21:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have evenings where you're so on a roll, that you sit and work without caring what time it was?

I just had one of those evenings. AND. IT. FEELS. GOOD.

YESH!

P.S. I realize that I have worn what I am wearing today on this blog multiple times in the last couple of days. Whatever, my classmates haven't seen this scarf before, so I wore it again.

One step away from Lunchables

2011-09-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

I've been eating string cheese lately as a snack. They're portable and salty, and durable enough that I don't have to worry about squishing them, like bananas.

Eating string cheese makes me feel like a grade school student. However, I suppose it's a step better than resorting to Lunchables. I shall not go that low.

Bite my lip

2011-09-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

I'm working on my first memo, which is about a case where a dog bites a child.

We have to read several relevant cases and make our argument using past applications of the law. I have to mentally bite my lip when I feel like saying something aloud. These cases are so likely to happen, that it makes me hesitant to ever be around children.

Dogs, on the other hand, give me a sense of relief vs. a sense of panic. I miss my dog.

It was mighty AC-ed and cold in the cafeteria where I was studying.

Lifesaver

2011-09-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

Did I ever tell you about how I used to think the lightsabers from Star Wars were called lifesavers? It made sense to me at the time; you use them to save lives. However, you can also argue that they were used to kill lives as well. Woops.

Anyhoo, my current lifesaver is my locker at school. Law school books are a couple of pounds each, and when you have 4 classes, it can get unmanageable without a place to store them.

This is where our lockers are stored. There's a mirror in the locker room, and it definitely needs to be cleaned.

click

2011-09-16T14:17:00.001-07:00

Last night, the weather suddenly clicked into fall. Today was full-on fall weather, and there were no shadows of summer left. In fact, the weather won't be above 69 degrees until next Tuesday.

I busted out my warmer clothing, including a fall-appropriate mustard yellow dress.

I love this time of year until January.... <3

Another cool thing about being a student...

2011-09-15T16:24:00.001-07:00

...is access to Amazon Student!

With free 2-day shipping, there is just no reason for me to do substantial shopping outside of the online market. No wonder physical retail stores are collapsing.

It's like a present I give myself. I came home to a package today, and it perked up my night.

In other news, it is currently 57 degrees outside, and tomorrow's expected high is 67 degrees. Good bye, summer, HELLO AUTUMN I LOVE YOU YOU'RE MY FAVORIIITTEE!

one of those days again

2011-09-14T18:46:00.000-07:00

I've been running around the whole day. Class from 9-1pm, meeting from 1-1:30pm, lunch, read 3 chapters, and another meeting in Midtown from 6pm to 8pm.

The above picture is what I felt like around 4pm, after 2.5 cups of coffee, a Snickers bar, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Seriously, since I've been a student, my eating has gone downhill. ESPECIALLY since my school offers free pizza almost every day. I'm kind of sick of pizza. I miss the days at LTSC when they used to give us free banh mi sandwiches.

JEANS

2011-09-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about being back in school is the ability to wear jeans EVERY. DAY.

Today was a jeans and black T kind of day. I lurve that kind of day.

I'm studying to get into a profession that's all about suits, (both law and apparel - har har!) so I'm getting as many days in jeans as possible.

can't get the energy...

2011-09-12T18:25:00.000-07:00

... to even pose for an actual picture.

I'm exhausted and it's only 9:30PM. Whatevs...

What today has been like

2011-09-11T17:53:00.000-07:00

I did what I usually do today. I did a semi-long run across the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan, while listening to Weekend Edition on WNYC. Today, they did a little bit of Weekend Edition, and then switched over to live coverage of the 911 Memorial, including 6 moments of silences tolled by bells.

I was just at the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge when the first one went off at 8:46AM with lower Manhattan in perfect view. I stopped, went to the side, and participated in the moment with those near the World Trade Center. Just like 10 years ago, it was a blue clear bright day, even though the weather forecast expected some rain showers.

I proceeded with the rest of the day with constant reminders of what had happened 10 years ago, and also with the reminder that fall was around the corner.

I threw on a fall-colored scarf to welcome the fall, and to respect what this time of year means to a lot of people in this city.

I need to clean my room.

2011-09-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

So I'm going to get to it right after this post.

September 10th, 2011

2011-09-10T10:56:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, everyone will be remembering what had happened 10 years ago. I can't tell you how quickly those 10 years had gone by.

I want to focus on what had happened before 9/11/2001 today. I had just graduated high school, and just turned 18. I was in my 2nd week of college in my dorm.

In high school, I didn't care about politics and world events at all. I didn't listen to public radio, I didn't watch news television, and I didn't read news papers. I knew who my president was, but I couldn't have told you who my senators were, or who my congress member was. I was consumed with marching band, acne, boys, MTV, and starting college.

I entered college and realized how small my world had been thus far. I was mourning a little about the passing of Aaliyah, and was struck by how little people care about that kind of music. My school was a very liberal school, and people mainly listened to Phish, the Grateful Dead, or some kind of indie bands with ü's and ø's in their names. Anything mainstream was looked down upon, so I kept silent about my sadness about Aaliyah. On top of that, people had very strong opinions about politics, and I didn't have one. There were discussions erupting in the dorm hallways about things like Sudan or freeing Tibet, or why capitalism sucked (and I probably didn't even know what capitalism really meant). People had bumper stickers on their dorm room doors with bold messages like, "TAKE YOUR RELIGION OFF MY OVARIES" or "LEGALIZE IT". People identified themselves as a feminists, Democrats, atheists, etc etc. I just didn't really have a clear opinion or an idea about any of those things.

I was starting to be aware what having an opinion might mean, and how important it was to start paying attention to what was happening, both domestically and internationally.

Then, those planes crashed into those towers. From then on, it suddenly became imperative that I find out what the hell was going on in the world. And now I am obsessed with current events and politics.

That's what it was like for me up to 09/11/2001, and I reflect on it today.

sneaky

2011-09-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

in the student lounge...

Taken earlier today, when I was typing up my handwritten note after my AM classes.

I'm listening!

2011-09-08T16:37:00.001-07:00

I am currently listening to President Obama's speech via one of my favorite form of media: radio.

I won't discuss it here today, but know that I'm always trying to be aware of what is going on, even if I'm consumed with studying.

A full-time job

2011-09-07T16:27:00.001-07:00

Do my eyes look dead? Because they feel dead. As does my brain.

I spent about 10 and a half hours today on campus without a moment of wasted time. It was back to back classes, a meeting with a professor, and pages of briefing cases. Some where in there, I inhaled a salad. I was deliriously hungry at that time, and ordered tofu AND cubes of feta in my salad. Each time I took a bite of my salad and thought it was feta and got tofu instead, I died a little inside. I love tofu, but unseasoned tofu in place of feta just doesn't spell win.

Law school really is a full-time job, but unlike some jobs that I've had, some days don't allow time for fucking around on Facebook. Today was just that day.

I am kind of enjoying it though!

I don't like rain.

2011-09-06T16:29:00.000-07:00

It's raining a lot today.

I have a theory. Those who "looooooove rain! <3 :D :D :D" have never been in a living situation where you have to deal with rain. And by to deal with, I mean not get to hide in your car, and have to walk in it regardless of how much it rains and pours. The way I feel about rain is the way most of you feel about ants: I only approve of it for its ecological purpose. Otherwise, I don't like it. I've never liked rain, even when living in LA. It also makes me laugh when people living in LA buy rain boots. You guys have a gigantic rain boot called a car.

I think I don't like rain because I don't like getting partially wet. I also don't like water rides at amusement parks, because you're partially wet for the rest of the day. Rain makes me not want to do things, and I really don't like being unproductive.

I admit, I dislike rain in NY less than in LA for one reason. There's less chance of me causing harm (i.e. me driving in the rain) here in New York than in LA.

Still. I don't like rain.

Chalk Bathroom!

2011-09-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

I spent 2.5 hrs reading about personal jurisdiction today at a cafe, where the bathroom looks like this.

Not too shabby. I also washed my hands before taking this photo, fyi.

what i'm doing right now

2011-09-04T12:21:00.001-07:00

First off-site post.

I'm hot because I tried.

2011-09-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

It is hot outside. By hot, I mean East Coast humid hot, because it's only 80 degrees but muggy. It's not the hottest it's been, though, so I really can't be complaining too much.

I'm hot because I tried to be social and went to a student organization picnic at a nearby park. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm a tad more on the anti-social side in New York. In Los Angeles, I'm surrounded by people I grew up with, so I don't have an excuse to be anti-social. In fact, even if I tried to be anti-social, people will barge into my room unannounced.

New York is a place to be alone in some sense, and not in a bad way. Most people leave you alone and let you be. However, that means you have to make an effort to meet people, which is not my strong suit. I tend to let things happen to me rather than make it happen.

BUT, I made an effort today, and I had a good time. I had a good time, but now I'm sweating balls because I was outside in this slightly muggy weather. Small price to pay for new connections. I'm trying to fan myself, if you couldn't tell.

Off to go read!

AAaahhhh.

2011-09-02T14:46:00.001-07:00

You guyssss. I love living by myself!!

I don't know if I mentioned it here, but I am living by myself for the first time in my entire life. I'm living in a studio without a roommate, and I can't handle how much I am enjoying this. It's been almost a month since I moved in, and I don't know if I can ever go back to living with roommate. The only people I can conceivably handle living with is Peter, and I know he doesn't want to live with me.

Wanting to continue this living style is definitely a great motivator to do well in school so I can secure a job that allows me to keep living by myself.

I have Lucille Bluth moments of walking around my (small) space singing along, and eating crap laying down. Aahhhhh...

Student Fair!

2011-09-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

Today was my law school's student organization fair. I'm kind of overwhelmed with the options. In undergrad, I was the kid who couldn't pick a major until the last moment possible, and I'm the same kid now. I'm not sure what I'm interested in. I'm interested in serving the public, but I'm also extremely interested in not being poor. I.e., I'm interested in going into public interest law, but equally interested in corporate law. (Just for the record, I'm genuinely interested in corporate law as a subject matter as well.)

We. Shall. See.

(By the way, did you notice all of my zits? I'm almost 30 and still getting pimples. I though this was supposed to be an adolescence thing. WTF.)

If it makes me old, so be it.

2011-08-31T12:09:00.000-07:00

I'm of the generation where laptops were not a normal accessory in a classroom. In undergrad, I never took notes on my laptop. In fact, not many people had laptops.

Now I'm in law school with a bunch of kids younger than me, and I am of a minority when it comes to the methods of note-taking.

I've taken minutes in meetings before on laptops, so it's not as if I don't know how to type out notes. BUT, I know in my gut that I would streamline listen to my professors if I were to do that, instead of taking in what my professors were saying and physically writing it down. Therefore, even it if dates me, I choose to take notes with my hand, my pen (very picky about my pens), and my top-wired notebook (also very picky about my notebooks).

If that makes me old(er), at least I'll be wiser doing it my own way.

So did ya hear?

2011-08-30T17:25:00.000-07:00

New York City was on hurricane warning this past weekend. It came and went, and apparently the aftermath is more deadly than the actual storm.

Anyway, it was my first natural disaster that I had to endure on my own. I searched the city far and wide for a flashlight and battery-powered/hand-cranked radio but I came up empty handed. In place, I had my semi-broken iPod Nano and candles with Jesus and Virgin Mary all over them.

My mom suggested that I get a flashlight and radio even after the storm past, for the next weather-related event. New York is kind of prone to weather extremes. My mom then offered to send it to me, since I'm lacking on free time right now with law school. I got the package today, and I am now officially ready for a storm. I just have to make sure not to eat my storm food and use my storm baby wipe stock.

10 years since Aaliyah's passing

2011-08-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

If I had to choose 3 artists that defined my adolescence, Aaliyah would definitely be one of them. I loved everything she did. I loved her music, her dancing, and her movie. She was a softer part of R&B that was happening in the 90s, and my friends and I used to idolize her.

Right before I found out about her plane crash, my best friend and I were singing her song "One in a Million" along the Universal City Walk. We had just met a guy who was really cute, which was a rare event, once in a million opportunities. We were being so careless and free, acting a fool while singing and prancing along the City Walk. I came home that night, turned on the TV, and found out that my pop culture idol had died. It was devastating, and I watched Ananda Lewis on MTV report what had happened for the next several hours.

Aaliyah used to do this thing in her music videos, where she would part her hair sideways, hide on her eyes with her side bang, and cover the bang and her eyes with a pair of sunglasses. It looks ridic here, but it's just my homage to a women who was just about to launch into mega star-hood. She's still one of my favorite artists today, and her songs are still some of my favorites, and makes me nod my head to her beats.

law school starts!

2011-08-23T15:56:00.001-07:00

Law school starts tomorrow! I'm discovering that I really don't hate reading, and I'm kind of ahead on my reading assignments. I can't say that I definitively don't hate reading, because I don't want to jinx it. The sippy cup is helping me hydrate/stay awake while I read about criminal law, but I'm encouraged that the sippy cup isn't necessary to keep me interested.

Me and my baby

2011-08-08T22:40:00.001-07:00

Wind down.

2011-07-31T18:45:00.000-07:00

Summer is winding down, at least for me. I have a little more than a week left in LA, and will be starting school soon. I'm extremely excited, but today I'm a bit pensive about it, because it's been a fantastic summer so far...

errbody slow down.

2011-07-27T22:01:00.001-07:00

babies, engagements, weddings, job advancements, morgages, etc etc.

por favor, slow down. i'm dizzy.

Amy Winehouse

2011-07-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

I'm about 3 months older than Amy Winehouse. I loved her voice and played Back to Black at least 100 times over the span of several months in 2007. I don't know anyone personally with a voice like hers, but I do know people whose demons and addictions are as painful as hers. Someone said that her death is proof that addictions have an expiration date, which probably is true. In the long-run, I'll try to think of and do things that might be helpful to those who suffer. In the meantime, I'm going to relive 2007 and listen to her album a lot this week.

Adult Sippy Cup

2011-07-23T22:17:00.001-07:00

I went to a Red Egg and Ginger party today for two of my friends' baby. It's to celebrate 1 month after a baby's birth. So many of my friends are having babies. I, on the other hand, can barely take care of myself. I have to remind myself to do simple things like hydrate. It's gotten easier, though, since I got this Camelback water bottle . I can just sip through it all day, without even opening the thing and tipping the bottle back. My sister calls it my adult sippy cup. In fact, she's seen me lying on the floor, playing with my iPhone, and drinking from my bottle.

As my friends become parents, I regress to baby habits. At least I'm well hydrated.

I might be getting too old for this.

2011-07-21T17:34:00.000-07:00

I look at myself. I have on my friendship bracelet, $2 plastic neon orange earrings, and chewing green apple gum. I'm 28, and wonder how long I can dress like this and act like this, and wonder if I can make any real money being like this.

Sigh.

Coby

2011-07-20T07:15:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite things about being home is the fact that I get to hang out with my dog, Coby. He's 14.5 years old, and my parents always remind people that he's over 100 in human years. He might not be adorbs like he used to be as a puppy, but he's more lovable than ever. He gets severe eye-crusties, his ass looks meat-less, he limps, and he has selective hearing/hearing loss. But he still bitches insistently when he wants cookies (and has successfully trained us humans to give him one when he comes back from a walk), loves sitting underneath our apple tree and eat apples, and comes over to sit next to me for no significant reason.

He ignores me a fair amount, like he's doing in this picture. But it's also a sign of upmost comfort, and that's priceless.

Morning Ritual

2011-07-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Do you have a morning ritual?

Mine is so ritual, I consider it sacred. I wake up, get something to eat, and down black black black coffee. If I don't do that, I can't go #2 for the rest of the day.

Also, I have a thing for clear mugs for coffee. It's not required, but I've drank coffee in this mug for the last 6+ years.

Running heaven.

2011-07-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

I know I say this over and over again, but I love running in Southern Californian suburbs. It's so shady and clear. I can find spots of shades during hot summer days and not die like when I run in New York City humidity.

Just came back from a 6 mile run around Pasadena and San Marino area. I'm about to lie down on the cold tile floor like my dog is right now.

Summer 2011

2011-07-12T07:31:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Internet.

I wanted to just give you a brief update of my life, and also record it for my own good so that I don't forget.

First of all, I just wanted let you know that I got into law school. After all that Internet bitching, the least I could do was to let you know that I was being a drama queen, and yes. It worked out. I'll be back in New York in the fall to start at Brooklyn Law School.

For the summer, I decided to come home and not work. It's a selfish thing to do, and I know I'm extremely privileged to have parents that allow me to do that. I missed Los Angeles, and I figured that this was my last summer of no obligations.

It has been the best summer I have had in a long time. I'm home and get to eat my mother's cooking every day. My sister is back from Japan and living at home temporarily as well. My brother has been back twice this summer, which is the most I've got to see him in a while. My father is pulling us all together with his jolliness, as always.

I've also been volunteering at LTSC and reconnecting with my old co-workers, who are dear friends. I made some new personal and professional connections in Little Tokyo. I made some mini-trips that were all lovely.

Now I have about a month left in LA before I start school, and I am both excited and sad. I'm excited to start school and go back to NYC. I am sad that I'll be leaving my family friends again. BUT! I am EFFIN ready for the next chapter for my life!

Sometimes, the intent doesn't matter.

2011-04-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

Recently, an Orange County GOP official sent out an email with a photograph of President Obama's face plastered on to a chimpanzee. It was supposed to be a joke email commenting on his birth certificate issue. She apologized for being "unwise" and regretted that it offended her community. But later on, she said, "I think it's only racist when the intent in my heart is to make it that way, and that was not the intent in my heart."

Let's not even get into the fact that questioning President Obama's birth certificate has some racist undertones to begin with. What bothers me about what this woman said is her I-didn't-mean-it-so-it's-not-racist explanation. It doesn't matter if you meant it to be racist. If you offended a group of people, and they took it as racist, it can be valid enough for your ACTIONS to be racist.

My friend-crush blogger Jay Smooth said what I'm about to say very clearly in this video. I first start off with my rant by giving him credit for the inspiration of this blog post.

It concerns me when people say something offensive, and as part of their "apology", they try to explain that what they did wasn't racist because they didn't "mean it that way". Most of the time it isn't the intention that hurts, but rather the consequences of the action itself. You might not be racist. No one is free of judgments. I'm sure I have said and done racist things, sometimes without even knowing what I had done. But here is the difference between me and the racists: If I offended a group of people, and they were hurt because of something that I had done REGARDLESS of what I meant my actions or words to mean, it doesn't change the fact that I have offended a group of people. My responsibility as a functional person in this society is to own up to the fact that what I DID was offensive and apologize to remedy because I'm NOT an offensive person.

This is where I have problems with what the GOP official said: "I think it's only racist when the intent in my heart is to make it that way, and that was not the intent in my heart." False. "It" can be racist if the offended party feels that way. YOU don't get to decide. YOU may not be racist, but the decent thing to do would be to own up that your action was racist and it's up to you to prove that it isn't consistent with your actual persona.

When people say these things, I think of this one time when I went miniature golfing with a bunch of my friends. I had a grand ol' time, and I was about to swing my club to get my ball into some kind of wooden castle. When I swung behind me, I accidentally smacked my friend in the head, and she got a gigantic bump. I felt horrible. I didn't INTEND to hurt her, but there was no question that my actions did injure her. I was careless and didn't look behind me before I swung. This doesn't necessarily make me a violent person, but what I did was definitely hurtful.

Sometimes, the real issue is how the perception of your actions and your perception of yourself don't line up with each other. The real step to progress would be to acknowledge that fact and adjust your ways so that they are closer together.

End rant.

What would you do?

2011-04-17T04:19:00.000-07:00

Would you rather be in debt but live in an city you might like more or be in less debt and live in a city you know practically nothing about?

stay with me for a bit...

2010-12-17T03:13:00.000-08:00

I'm knee-deep in applications at the moment...

FUCKUSED

2010-12-13T17:45:00.001-08:00

I would like to introduce a new word: fuckus.

It is when you are focused because you feel fucked.

If you ever want to make me cry...

2010-12-12T19:47:00.000-08:00

I'm not a huge sap but I'm also not made out of stone. I cry at some movies, and I roll my eyes at others.

There is one theme, though, that will constantly twist the inside of my throat, and that is the theme of parents. I don't necessarily respond to all themes that come with parents, specifically the negative ones, mostly because I don't identify with the experience of having bad parents. I know I'm extremely lucky in that sense.

I will instantly cry if I see a scene where the parent shows unconditional love to their child. It can come in any form, but it will strike me the most when the parent-child relationship is strained in a normal way (the type that might stick around during the child's teenage years), and is solved in a non-grandiose quiet thing uttered by the parent. This reminds me most of my parents, and it almost always makes me cry.

One of the most poignant quotes uttered by a fictional character that really made me bawl was from an episode of "The West Wing". President Bartlett and his middle daughter experience some tension, and the daughter mentions how she doesn't know how to make the President happy. During a movie screening, he quietly tells her, "The only thing that you ever had to do to make me happy was come home at the end of the day."

TEAR. I mean, I don't stand a chance with a quote like that. I cry like a baby when I hear a line like that because I am so lucky to have parents that feel that way about me. They didn't raise me in a Western way where "YOU'RE SO SPECIAL YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE YOU HONNNEEYY" was an everyday thing. Their main teaching was to be a responsible person no matter what decision I made. But they allowed me to make my own decision and allowed me to royally fuck up on multiple levels, and still be there for me.

After the test, my parents emailed me to let me know that they were proud because they knew that I had tried as much as I could. No matter the result, I know I am an extremely lucky person to have parents like them who will be happy enough when I come home to them at the end of the day - sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally.

When you try and try

2010-12-11T17:41:00.000-08:00

I didn't post yesterday, but I wanted to be as prepared as possible for my LSATs.

I did not do well.

It wasn't as disastrous as last time, but it's also not a gut feeling. I actually ran out of time and had to guess on a significant part of one of the sections. It's OK, though. I'm not retaking it. I'm going to take it as is, since this is what my capability is.

I'm going to apply to law school still, but I can't help but wonder why I keep doing poorly on something I know I can do well in. I have never tried so much and not get too far.

I don't know what my score is, and I won't know until January, so no real reason to dwell on it. But, just for tonight, I can't help but feel like a failure. I know I'm not. But I can't help but feel like one.

I am certainly a believer that all things happen for a reason. Some how, this is going to work out and I'm going to find out what I'm supposed to do and I'll do it.

In the meantime, I'm going to take a look at myself...

(and show off my new camera while I'm at it). ( I need to clean my mirrors and make my bed...)

Tonight, I'm going to feel bad for myself while watching Toy Story 3. I've never seen it and I either have interests of a 65 year-old (Medicare) or a child (cartoons). I thought it was the farthest thing from real shit that I have to deal with now, so that's my way of dealing with it.

Tomorrow, I'm going to snap out of it and get myself together and work with what I got!

I hope

2010-12-08T20:36:00.000-08:00

the Senate passes the Dream Act tomorrow. Sadly, I'm not holding my breathe. But... who knows!!!

Math

2010-12-08T03:11:00.000-08:00

Pretend that I'm writing this last night!

I try not to get political on public forums. This is the internet, so this is a public forum. I'm not huge on professing my personal political views, because I value neutrality in a lot of ways and want people to feel comfortable expressing their views to me without fear of my judgement. I've made exceptions when I feel really strongly about it, but I try not to be too preachy.

When I heard about the extension of the Bush era tax cut the morning of the 7th, I was genuinely confused. I was confused with the deal and what the Republicans think is good for Americans. The Bush era tax cut is extended - loss of revenue. They lowered Social Security pay roll - more loss of revenue towards the Social Security trust fund. They agreed to the extension of unemployment benefits - more spending. I know that the extension of the unemployment benefits was a compromise that the Republicans made. But I just don't understand how the Republicans want to control the national deficit without tax revenue. Isn't this simple math? If you don't want to subtract, but want to decrease a negative, you have to add.

This isn't an attack on the GOP. I just want an explanation. I want to understand how the GOP maintains the belief of small government and small taxes. I'm so confused right now with where the country is going, it makes my head spin. I also am confused with how some progressive liberal economists are encouraging constant spending, saying that it's stimulating, so my confusion is bipartisan.

SOMEONE. EXPLAIN BEFORE MY HEAD EXPLODES!

Tweet tweet.

2010-12-06T20:39:00.001-08:00

I hate the word Twitter. I hate the verb tweet even more. I also don't like the verb blog. Why do all tech words sound like they're uttered by 2 ft alien munchkins? I just can't take myself seriously when I utter those words.

Nonetheless.

I love Twitter. I was hesitant at first about jumping on the bandwagon, especially because I'm usually not one to have my finger on the pulse of pop culture. However, Twitter has opened up to me for 2 big reasons:

1. It is the greatest way to voice a complaint against a company. I have bitched (nicely and respectfully) to NYC MTA, LA County Voter's Registration Office, and Orbitz and have gotten immediate responses to fix any issues I've had. I would have never gotten that kind of attention if I had left a comment or sent an email.

2. It has given my (brief) direct contact to people I admire from afar. My first celebrity @reply was from Mark Bittman, who is one of my favorite cookbook writers and columnist from the NY Times. I have gotten someone friendly with a blogger from my FAVORITE food blog Seriouseats.com. Today, I got a direct @reply from one of my biggest friend-crush of all time - Mr. Jay Smooth at Underground Railroad on WBAI radio station. The are all really little moments, but it makes me feel that much closer to these people I look up to.

There are other reasons why I think Twitter is amazing. When the Iran protest happened after the fraud election, seeing Iranian tweets all over Twitter sent shivers down my spine. It has also allowed me to stay in touch with some dear friends. I also like that not everyone in my personal network is following me on Twitter, which allows me to be a little more open and constant with my updates. (I do still use discretion...)

Anyhoo, the joy of getting an @reply from Jay Smooth triggered this post tonight. It makes me giddy that his @reply to me is still his latest update. I'm going to go to bed with that small happiness!

Delayed start.

2010-12-05T18:38:00.000-08:00

I came back from Japan exactly a week ago, and I am still feeling the aftermath. I have done this trip so many times in my life but this is the worse jet lag I've experienced in the last several years. I can fall asleep at a regular hour-ish now, but I constantly feel sleep deprived, regardless of how much I sleep.

Because of this dilemma, I woke up much later than I usually do this morning. Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, but it really isn't. Sunday is the day before Monday when you're supposed to get all errands completed to attack the week. The more I work, the more I value an efficient Sunday. I know this makes me sound like a militant crazy person, but it has worked the last couple of years.

This morning, I woke up about 2 hrs later than I usually do, despite going to bed the night before no later than normal. It felt so wasteful, and I started thinking about how everything was going to be pushed back. But then I noticed how clear my brain felt and, despite cursing myself for waking up, how relaxed my body felt. I laid in bed remembering the days in high school when my mom practically had to literally kick me out of bed to get the day started. I don't know where that girl went. That girl had the laziest Sundays in the world. I used to do jack shit.

I want my lazy-do-jack-shit Sundays back. Granted, those days were also when my mom did all of my cooking, and the only thing I had to take care of was completing my homework. I also didn't always finish my homework. Life was so simple then, and I couldn't even fully do what I was supposed to.

When I'm home for the holidays, it feels like those times of lazy ass days. I can't friggin wait. 20 more days!

I'm wide awake today.

2010-12-04T18:37:00.000-08:00

If you didn't notice, I wrote last night's post in near delirium. Ever since I started working, once the clock passes 10PM, I start to lose consciousness and can barely keep my eyes open.

I, however, am wide awake today because "Mean Girls" was on and anything Tina Fey writes will keep me up.

Today marks a week from my test. I've literally been studying for this test for the last 3 years. I did less-than-ok the first time, might have done OK on the second or royally screwed up the second time (don't ask), and this is my third time. Third time better be the mother-effin charm. Things are feeling alright, though. And Legally Blonde is now on AGAIN, which makes the whole process seem so easy. I kid not - this movie was on right before my tests the lasts two times. TBS must know that this is school application time.

I am really lucky to have people who have supported me throughout this whole process. My fam bam gets me little charms that are meant for academic success. When I was in Japan, I got my fortune told at a temple. It came out really negative, but it was just a piece of paper that provided the bad fortune, so I'm not sweating it. When you get a bad fortune at a Japanese temple, you can tie it on this little rack to wish it away. You can see my determination to decide my own future in this picture:

I'm going to keep this spirit until the end of the year. Make my own fortune, biaatch!

It's 20 minutes into the 4th

2010-12-03T21:20:00.000-08:00

but I'm still going to count is at the 3rd.

Although I bitched about how difficult the last couple of years have been, it hasn't been without joys. This past November, I got to go on some much anticipated trips that have honestly been some of the best times of my life.

The first is my mom's visit to the East Coast. She came to New York for a quick visit, and one of the things we did while she was here was going to Washington D.C. The last time I had gone to D.C. was when I was in 8th grade, when I didn't appreciate the importance of a capitol city. This time around, I couldn't get enough of it. Just seeing Capitol Hill and thinking about how laws are (supposed to be) made in the building sent shivers down my spine. More details of that later.

The second trip is a trip I made this past Thanksgiving to Japan. I went to Tokyo with one of my best pals Peter, and met up with my sibs and their plus ones. More on that later too.

I just wanted to mention today about those 2 trips because the were 2 bright spots of an otherwise difficult year. It's a reminder that it's been a descent year.

So, I had this idea...

2010-12-02T02:09:00.000-08:00

...and I failed already.

I had this idea that I would blog everyday in December, because I couldn't believe it was already December, and I wanted to savor this holiday season as much as possible. It's December 2nd, and I've already missed one day.

Whatevs. Can't cry over spilled milk, and better fess up to the mess-up than not do anything at all.

SO! DECEMBER! WOWZAS!

I love the holiday season. I love the commercialism about it. I don't actively practice any religion, and Christmas isn't really a huge thing in my family, so I'm all about Xmas and it's shiny wasteful glory. I love the days that lead up to Xmas and New Year, and the anticipation up to it, and I want it to last as long as possible, because January 2nd is usually one of the most depressing days of the year. This is my sad attempt to do so.

Man, did this year pass quickly! I woke up on 1/1/2010, I blinked, and now it's December. WTF. This year for me was (again) one of lots of trials. I have to be honest. The last 3-4 years have not been the best. They weren't the worse, but they have been the years-of-trying-to-do-things-and-failing-miserably. I'm trying to do something again this year (applying to law school), and although I'm giving it all I have, I'm fully anticipating for an alternative outcome. (I'm not saying failure. It's too maddening.) I haven't been fully happy in the last 4 years, because I think I know what I want to do in life, but I can't get to where I need to be.

I'm not trying to sound depressed, because I'm also not wallowing in my sorrow. What a wasteful sack of shit of time. What I am trying to do is do everything in my power to try to achieve goals that I have for myself and GET. SOME . WHERE. I'm getting too old to fuck around, and I want to finally succeed in something that I put my heart into. I haven't been able to do that in a long ass time.

SO! This month is the last haul. It's the last month of the year, but it's also my last month of trying to get into law school (at least for this application cycle) and get my shit done. I wanted to start the month off with a bang and make sure I don't waste it.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Yeah I know...

2010-07-24T04:40:00.000-07:00

Someone commented that at this rate I was going to come back in August to update, and I'm afraid that he/she was right on the money.

Of course I've been busy, but the reality is that I have been holding out on updating because I was without a camera, and I am a strong believer that images make blog entries stronger. This is mainly because I'm not as confident with presenting myself with just words. But alas, I am still camera-less, and I don't have the financial means to purchase one that I want.

What has happened since May? I have been working my ass off, working out, and studying a lot for my second round of LSATs. (Let us not talk about it, because I don't want to.) I also moved to a new apartment because my lovely roommate moved. I moved into a beautiful room that I would show you, if I had a camera. One of the best/worst things about my room is that I have a TV now in my bedroom. I don't have cable connection but I somehow get the Foodnetwork, so I have spent many-a-unproductive hours in front of the tube. (BTdubs, some of these shows are really irritating.)

Anyhoo, I mentioned reality at the beginning of this post, so I'm going with that theme today. Lets get real.

For as long as I've been working (all but 4+ years) I've always been at a workplace that was at least partially dependent on public funding, providing services to a specific population. We just started a new fiscal year. States should have already passed their budgets and should have already funded appropriate program. New York finally passed theirs, after delaying it for about 15-20 weeks. I'm sure California is/was overdue as well. Every year that I've been working, there's always talks about cuts to programs because of the increasing state deficits.

This is when I thank my lucky stars that I'm not brilliant enough to be in charge of who gets what kind of money.

If you ask me at work about who should get funding, I would stand by my work place's policy positions. If you ask me privately, though, I wouldn't be able to answer as quickly. It's so sad to me that programs have to fight against each other to represent their specific population, when what we're all doing is providing assistance that the public can't afford or manage. It's sad to me that when one group gets help, the other gets shafted. I think about it as a huge water balloon with holes all over, more holes than could be covered. You try to plug one, and water starts spewing out of the other hole. A classic example is a cut that one of my programs experienced, because the money had to go into gang intervention programs. Was our program more deserving of the money than the workers helping to prevent gang violence? Apples and oranges. You couldn't have put a quantitative worth on one over the other. Of course, there are situations where the needs of one population are greater than another. Starving children vs. starving adult is an example. That's why food stamp requirements are more strict with adults. I understand that. I suspect most cases aren't easily determined like that.

When I hear about the security of certain funding that we have and about other people's cut, I always wonder the long-term effect and what it could mean for the state, and therefore the country. It's pretty hard to understand how to decide the allocation of things like that.

I suppose I don't really have to worry about it too much since it's not my job. But I can't help but wonder.

Will be back for more!

Hello world!

2010-05-30T18:07:00.001-07:00

How are you?

Me? I have been busy with keeping up with life and it's expectations.

Have I been running? Yes! Am I training for a marathon? NOOOOO. Phew to that.

I have my eyes on another marathon, though. My co-worker told me of a person who proposed to do 5 marathons before 30 years old, and I thought that was a nice little goal. I'm right on track if I do a marathon a year, and I definitely have my eyes on the ING NYC Marathon. There are few ways to qualify, and one of it is to run 9 qualifying races the year before the marathon. I've done 4 so far, with 5th one coming up this weekend.

I have also been doing some yoga; hot vinyasa yoga to be exact. I. Love. It. I am loving the chaturangas so much.

I will come back and give you a more quality post. I just wanted to say hello, but I have to avert my attention else where now, because the Lakers are playing the Celtics for the first NBA Finals game. PURPLE AND GOLD!

Be back!

I'm still running!

2010-05-22T12:40:00.000-07:00

And I'll post in a bit about it!

The imperfect race.

2010-03-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

The marathon is over, and I did... OK. It was an imperfect race, but not a horrible one. I had a great time running it, and it has fueled a couple of new goals for the future.

Let us back up.

I flew into Los Angeles around midnight on Friday, and went straight to bed. I woke up Saturday feeling very fresh. I felt like I got to sleep in, but in reality, I woke up around 7AM PST. I love jet lag. My dad and I left early in the morning to go to the expo to pick up my race bib. The expo was at Dodger Stadium parking lot, where we had to climb several stairs to get to the fair. It was pretty disorganized, and they kept on closing different exit ways, which made us feel trapped in the expo. Nonetheless, my dad had a grand old time getting free snacks and chugging on some free drinks, like vanilla soy milk and Naked Juice. He also bee-lined to get a 2010 Census canvas tote bag to carry around the free shit that they were passed out. I got to score a 2010 Census water bottle and sweat band.

The rest of the day was spent hanging out, which included watching the umpteenth Bring It On movie on E! Channel and walking around South Pasadena to keep my mind busy. I couldn't stand the idea of just sitting around and freaking myself out. I was especially nervous because it was 80 degrees that day. I eventually calmed down, and enjoyed a nice Japanese spaghetti dinner at Spoon House in Gardena with my mama.

Sunday, I woke up at 4AM and did my morning ritual before any run. This includes drinking coffee, going to the bathroom, and eating a snack. I ate an almond butter-smeared banana and chugged some Smart Water. My parents took me to Dodger Stadium around 5AM and dropped me off. They went to meet up with their volunteer squad at mile 23.

We were lead into the stadium, and suddenly, I was standing in the middle of Dodger Stadium field. I looked up and saw the bleachers and got the wonderful buzzing nerve that I felt last year, right before the race started. I took it in for a sec, and then ran to the bathroom, where I peed and peed and peed. That's right. I peed, and then went right back into line, peed, and went back into line and peed. The line was long enough that I was able to pee all three times. I was not about to repeat the same mistake that I did last year, where I had to use the porta-potty right after I started running the first mile.

We were told to gather because the race was going to start, but it was really unclear as to where we were supposed to be, and where we were supposed to stand. Everything that was done at Dodger Stadium was a big fat mess. We started 15 minutes late, and it took an extra 15 minutes to cross the start line. Once we all started running, people started spreading out throughout the parking lot, because there weren't clear markers to show where the boundaries were. When we were supposed to turn, it got pretty cramped, and people were practically stepping on top of each other. Not a great start. On top of that, I started getting side cramps. I started getting those amateur side cramps that 10 year-olds get, when they eat too much and immediately try to do things, like swimming in the pool. I guess I had eaten too little too early, and my stomach started growling around 7AM, which was 45 minutes before the race started. Right before crossing the starting line, I popped in a sugary sport gummy in my mouth to fuel my run. That was the intention. What the sugar actually did was give me a stomach ache immediately after I started running. It wasn't debilitating, but it was a nagging pain that stuck with me for literally half the race. Any time I put something in my stomach, whether it be water, Powerade, or orange slices, it hurt my side. I couldn't not drink anything, though, so I ran through the pain and drank sips of fluid to make sure I wouldn't pass out from dehydration. I had to take it easy when I did, though, so I slowed down and walked a couple of steps each time I did stop, as opposed to break right into a run after drinking:

The cramp really dampened my running experience. The saving grace was the route and the scenery. The route was designed so that the runners could pass by a Los Angeles landmark at each mile. I'm not sure if it was one each mile, but there was a lot to see. We started out in East Los Angeles through Echo Park (which doesn't get the love that it deserves, so I was ecstatic to run through it) straight onto Sunset Blvd. towards Hollywood. We passed by the famous Chinese Grauman Theater, and into West Hollywood, where drag queens were passing out water (which I, of course, accepted). From Hollywood, we ran further west into Beverly Hills (down Rodeo Drive) into Culver City and Westwood, where we ran through the VA facility. After the hills of the VA, it was down to mile 23, where my parents were waiting. I was so happy to see them, and my mom got a great shot of me as I passed by:

After mile 23, it was a slow downhill towards Santa Monica Beach. The air got noticeably crisper and the breeze felt so great. I turned a corner, and saw the ocean, which gave me a sudden surge of energy as I ran passed the 25 mile mark straight to the finish line. As I neared it, I heard a "GO LISA!" from the sideline, and saw my old co-worker Ron cheering. I yelled HI! to him, and sped off to finish strong. I passed by a guy dressed up as Cousin Itt, and ran passed the finish line with a clock time of something past 4hrs 33 minutes. Crossing the finish line gives you the ultimate feeling of release. I felt FINISHED. DONE. SPENT. I got my medal and felt so good:

I turned on my phone to see if my friends were around, and was flooded with text messages from my dear dear friends. Some of them texted me right then to congratulate me, because they were tracking me online and found out that I had finished. They were all saying very sweet things about how great I did, but I didn't even know how well I had done. I saw the clock time, but I knew that wasn't correct. I was literally yelling to myself, "Awww, that's so sweet.... but WHAT WAS MY TIME???" as I read the text messages. (On a side note, I didn't try updating Facebook via phone while running because... I was running. I also saw 3 separate people DROPPING their iPhones while updating, including one that just shattered when it hit the ground.)

I finally found my friends, who drove all the way from the East Side and from Orange County to meet me and watch me finish. I have the best friends ever:

They were sweet enough to drive me back to the SGV, where we had AMAZING Vietnamese food for lunch. I don't care what people say, Los Angeles is several steps above when it comes to Asian food.

On the way to the restaurant, I found out that my time was 4:17:44. It's less than 3 minutes less than my last time. A personal record, but not the personal record I had hoped for. I took it as a good time, though, because I did improve a bit. I swallowed it as an acceptable time, and enjoyed the company that I had. I spent the rest of the day hanging out with my friends, and going out to dinner at a local sushi joint where I got to spend some quality time with old friends. The night was sweetened even more, because I found out that the House had finally voted for the health care reform bill, and I got to talk about the triumph of it with people who cared. All in all, it was one of the best weekends I've had in quite some time.

The race itself was imperfect, like I said before. The logistics were planned poorly, and I faced some hurdles that hindered me during the race. I didn't have as smooth of a run as I had hoped. The race was promoted as a route that would create a lot of PRs because of the fact that it was predominantly downhill. Downhill doesn't necessary mean that it's easy, though, and I learned that I really can't expect anything associated with the word marathon as obstacle-free. The fact that this race was less than what I had wanted it to be makes me want to run another one to improve it. This desire makes me feel like an athlete, which is something I've always wanted to be. I still feel pretty uncomfortable calling myself an athlete, but this race has made take one step forward towards that label.

If anything, this race also showed me how WONDERFUL you all are. The amount of love and support that I felt on Sunday is indescribable. Even if most of you were far far away, I felt so close to all of you through the power of technology. I can't thank you enough. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! This is only the start, though, so I hope you'll stick around throughout my running adventure!

(Thanks for my mom, Naoko, and the marathon photo takers for the pictures!)

The day before

2010-03-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

It is finally here. It's finally here!

Here's my bib:

Here's my age:

Last year, they thought I was 56 too. I have no idea how this happens, since I registered with all new information. I'm going to have amazing age placement. What's worse is that there's going to be an amazing 56 year-old that is going to beat my ass.

How do I feel? I feel anxious. I'm terrified about this warm weather. I went to the Expo with my dad this morning, and realized how warm 70 degrees could be. It was warm, and it was only 10AM. I know it'll be OK, but I'm scared about being too warm. I'm also nervous, because this is my second race, and I don't think the same nerves that worked for me last year is going to work for me this year.

With all of these angst aside, I am excited. I reflect back on my training this time around, and I'm happy that I was able to keep it consistent. I don't expect to be faster than last year, since speed has never been my strong suite.

I can't really dwell on my thoughts right now. I'm hoping to have more to say tomorrow, when I'm (hopefully) done. All I have to say is that I am happy and sad that this is all over. I'm going to take a break from running for a little bit after this marathon, and dive into yoga. I'm going to give myself a month-long strength training/yoga challenge. I hope you'll still stay with me. I really want to thank all of you for all of your support. I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

xoxo lisa

A short break from running posts...

2010-03-13T12:01:00.001-08:00

I do have other things of interest besides running. (SHOCKER.)

One thing that I love to do is to dress myself. I don't say that I'm into fashion, because I don't really know what's going on in the fashion world, and I can't tell you the name of the type of skirt that I'm wearing. I do, however, LOVE clothes and accessories. What I love most is when I'm given clothes and accessories that are hand-me-downs, which happens often.

Today, I wanted to share with you the story behind these earrings.

I don't wear them often, because I don't want to lose them. I've mentioned my love for LTSC over and over again (and you should help them out). I've met many people through this organization, a few of whom I consider my role models and mentors. On my last day, I was given these earrings by someone, who I will look up to throughout my entire life. She wrote me a card with these words: "Here are some sets of earrings from my friend, who traveled all over the world. Please feel her energy that she brought from different countries. She is one of the leaders of current Asian Pacific women in our community. I just want to pass them to you."

I'm wearing them today, and am feeling the good weight that these earrings carry. The weight reminds me about how lucky I am.

GUESS MY TIME!!

2010-03-07T12:46:00.000-08:00

This is an event that my former co-workers have formulated to benefit LTSC. Please feel free to send this around!

Run Lisa Run 2 (RLR2)
Can You Guess Her Finish Time?

Last year, Lisa Okamoto (a social worker at LTSC at the time) ran the L.A. Marathon for the first time in her life. She finished the circular 26+ mile course in a remarkable 4 hours, 20 minutes and 15 seconds. Within a matter of days before the race, she and her supporters were able to raise over $1,000 for the nonprofit agency, LTSC.

SUNDAY, MARCH 21 ~ LOS ANGELES MARATHON

Lisa is a New Yorker now, but she plans to fly back to L.A. to run in this year's marathon.

Despite the snowiest winter in New York history, Lisa has trained diligently since November, running in rain, sleet or snow. If you think knowing more about how she's trained will help you guess the winning time, browse http://lisa-speaks.blogspot.com/.

If you think your knowledge of this year's course, conditions, etc. will help you decide on Lisa's finish time, check out www.lamarathon.com/ to see the map of the one-way (downhill) course from Dodger Stadium to Santa Monica Pier, elevation changes, etc.

RUN LISA RUN! GUESS HER FINISH TIME JUST FOR FUN!
SUPPORT THE BEST NONPROFIT UNDER THE SUN! (that rhyme is pretty bad)

Rules

1. Guess the time (hour:minute:second) that Lisa will finish. (The official time is the "chip time," not the stopwatch time.)
2. Each guess costs $5.00 (USD).
3. Multiple entries are allowed (and encouraged with discounted costs): 5 guesses for $20; or 13 guess for $50; or 30 guesses for $100.
4. If Lisa's exact finish time is not chosen by anyone, the entry with the closest time without going over is the winner.
5. If, for any reason, Lisa does not start the race, the entry closest to 00:00:00 will be the winner.
6. If, for any reason, Lisa starts but does not finish the race, the entry with the slowest time will be the winner.
(Tak settles all disputes.)

Payout is 50/50

50% of the payout will be donated to LTSC. The other 50% of the payout will go to the person(s) with the winning entry. If there are multiple winning entries, the 50% payout will be equally split amongst everyone with winning entries.

Submission of Entry

1. Entries must be received by Tak Suzuki by no later than 5pm (PST) on Thursday, March 18.
2. Entries must be either emailed to RunLisaRun2@gmail.com or delivered to Tak Suzuki, Little Tokyo Service Center CDC, 231 East 3rd Street, Suite G106, Los Angeles, CA 90013. If the entry is emailed, please type "RLR2 Entry" in the subject line.
3. Each entry must specify the hour:minute:second (example: 4:20:15).

Submission of Payment

Payment must be mailed or delivered to Mike Murase, Little Tokyo Service Center CDC, 231 East 3rd Street, Suite G106, Los Angeles, CA 90013, by no later than 5pm (PST) on Thursday, March 18.

You can forward this other LTSC supporters and Lisa's friends.
Good luck to everyone. Be sure to cheer on Lisa!!!

- NOT AN OFFICIALLY SPONSORED OR ENDORSED ACTIVITY OF LTSC -

At least it was a nice day.

2010-03-07T12:05:00.000-08:00

We had bed bugs. Have you seen the 30 Rock episode where Jack gets bed bugs and trolls around the subway looking for some sympathy? On a smaller scale, that's how I felt this week. However, the exterminator came yesterday, did his thing, and left our apartment looking like this:

Needless to day, I had to get out of there. A long run was a great escape.

I ran about 12-13 miles in GORGEOUS weather. It was above 50s today, and the sun was shining brilliantly. It was fresh and clear, and the easiest condition to run in. I did something that I hadn't done in New York since last September:

I wore shorts outside to run!

I might have jumped the gun a little bit, because I was a bit cold sometimes. However, I was excited to wear the new shorts I bought as my marathon outfit. I'm glad I did because I have officially vetoed it as part of my marathon outfit. It bunches oddly, and I felt kind of self-conscious in it. Feeling self conscious while running a marathon is the dumbest thing to do, so I am going to wear my trusty shorts from last time.

Anysnoop, the run was the best thing that I've done all week. I really needed this run. It's the kind of run that releases a lot of things that's happened during the week. There were a lot of people outside, soaking up the rays. People run outside when a hint of sun shines here, as if they were rats running out of the house after a tear gas was released. ( I have no idea if that's the way rat problems are treated.)

Next week will be about an 8-9 mile run, and then it will be race day. I. CAN'T. WAIT.
I'm off to enjoy the sun with the rest of New York. See you next week!

Third 20+ miles!!!

2010-02-28T12:33:00.000-08:00

I am in pain. My feet hurt, I can't really bend down without whimpering, and my ass is a whole other story. And it feels daaaaaaamn good.

I completed my goal of doing three 20-mile runs before my marathon, and I completed it today!

There are two obstacles that I keep mentioning here when going on these long runs: mental and physical. The physical obstacles are some what easier, because the origin of the obstacles are usually clear, and you can do things to avoid it. The mental, on the other hand, is not as easy. One of the biggest mental obstacles on these 3-4 hr run is boredom. It's different from your normal boredom, where you're sitting at your desk, clicking through Facebook just because there's nothing else to do. It's the type of numbness you have to deal with, when you're looking for SOMETHING to distract you from the fact that you're pounding on cement and have been doing this repetitive motion for 3+ hours.

I was able to have some distraction this time around that helped a lot. One is, I tried running the surrounding streets of Central Park first to get the mileage and try a "new" route. It turned out to be great. Just going up 5th Ave from 60th to 110th is interesting because the socioeconomic level of the community changes drastically one you enter the late 90s. For you LA people, it's like going down Huntington Blvd from the Echo Park area straight into San Marino. Or going down 6-7th St from the Financial District straight into Skid Row.

My second help was meeting my friend Carmen back at 60th St and 5th Ave to go into Central Park and overcome the 110th St. Killer Hill together. She's running a half marathon the same day that I'm running the marathon, and we always talk about how hard that one hill is. I met up with her late (SORRY!!) because I had lost track of time while running around the top of the park, but we were able to run through half of the park together, before I had to make another detour to complete my mileage.

I had a great amount of energy. I really didn't need any supplement stuff, except for some coconut water that I packed with myself. The weather was perfect, and the park was winter white and beautiful. My mother and I were both concerned about this but the area I ran in were not covered by trees, and I was able to make it back safely without any freak accidents. (KNOCK ON WOOD.)

Now I am backing, noshing on this:

I have this breakfast/lunch that I eat after every long run: peanut butter, pumpkin butter, and banana open sandwich with some cottage cheese. I have been eating some sort of peanut butter and banana combination breakfast for almost 3+ years now and it's my treat for completing my run. I eat the cottage cheese to pack in the extra protein and to help my muscles heal. I SELDOM go a day without this type of breakfast ( cottage cheese only for weekends). I really hope I don't develop some adulthood peanut allergy, because that will be a very sad sad day.

Today is the beginning of the end of my training. I love training. I do. Someone once said this: It is not the race that makes you a runner, but the daily runs you do up to it that entitles you the label. I sincerely feel that way. The race is an event with some thrills that can't be replicated. But I also love this regular training and the commitment I make to myself. It's kind of bittersweet. From now until the marathon, I'm going to be decreasing my mileage on the long runs, and won't go past anything over 15 miles. I'm kind of sad about the end of my training, but also really excited to run the marathon and to see my favorite people in the world in my city!

Until next week! It's almost done, but it ain't over yet!

I'm back!!

2010-02-21T12:33:00.000-08:00

I HAVE PICTURES Y'ALL, because my parents gave me a digital camera that they won in a raffle. However, they aren't heavily interesting. Visuals, though, visuals!

Let's start from the beginning.

I ran yesterday and today, like all of the weekends that I've been running to train for this marathon. However, yesterday's run was a 4 mile race for New York Road Runner's Race for Haiti. It was a fundraiser that the New York City and NYRR decided to do together, and 100% of the proceeds went to Haiti relief. The race alone raised $400,000. Pretty amazing stuff.

Anyway, I usually run 6-8 miles on Saturdays, so I decided to run to the race venue (Central Park) and then run the race. I've only done a half marathon and a full marathon as races (minus the 5ks that I did in Spain when I didn't run at ALL about 5 years ago), and I didn't have the slightest of ideas how to get a good time on such a short race. I knew enough that shorter distance did NOT mean easier run. If you're looking for some kind of time, it's actually a lot harder (in my mind, at least). But, it's for Haiti, I thought, and just ran it.

OMG it was so hard. I can't even tell you how hard. It wasn't hard physically, but mentally difficult. I was just thinking about whether or not I should speed up, about how hard I should hit the hills, and about my pace overall etc etc. Suddenly I saw the 3 mile mark, and I was forced to realize that I had to give 100% and gun it through, without really knowing how much energy I had to give. It was a very confusing race. On long runs, I start out slooooowwllyyy, and my body eventually knows how to get a good pace and last for the entire mileage. That is not the case with these short runs. I finished with a time of 32:01 and 8:00/mile split. I'm not sure if that was the best I could do. I do know, however, that I ran really hard the last mile, which made my ass sore for the rest of the day. Lesson learned. I need to do some serious speed training, i.e. shorter faster runs. (BLEEEGHHHH)

Now, on to today. I just checked, and I did a total of 14.8 miles. Not tooo shabby. I'll show it to you in forms of pictures. (YAYYYY)

************EDIT**************

tragedy.

After I typed that, I looked for the chord to upload all of the pictures, and I cannot find it. Come to think of it, I never saw it

I am so sad. I will report back with pictures as soon as I find it. Let me just say, that it was a fantastic 14.8 mile run, because I fucked around the entire time TAKING PICTURES. GAAAHHH.

I will try to figure something before my last 20 mile run, next week, before the marathon which is ONE MONTH AWAY. (I'm hoping that the caps will distract you from the lack of visuals. SORRY. i'M sO sOrRy. ) (i CaNnOt bE yOuR fRiEnD iF yOu sTiLL tYpE LiKe tHiS.)

RESOLVED

2010-02-07T12:41:00.001-08:00

I had recently made some concrete goals for my marathon training, and today, I got 2/3 closer to one of my goals.

One goal I made was to run 3 20-mile runs before the actual marathon. I wanted to spread it out so that I can complete my last 20-mile run a month before the marathon, which meant that I do my second 20-mile run today. I had a healthy shorter run last week, and I thought I had prepared myself ready for today's run.

Let me just say, first of all, that it was successful. I was able to run the 20 miles, 21 in fact, and I ran the exact route I did 2 weeks ago.

No two runs are the same, and this 20-mile run was so different from my last 20-mile run. I didn't have any trouble with motivation, and I didn't have any mental blocks along the way that deterred me. This time, my hurdle was biological. I got really really tired and really really hungry. I felt so weak, despite having energy gummy chews. There was one point when running around the 90-100th Sts on the West Side, that I felt like I was in a dream and running through water. My limbs felt extra heavy, and I couldn't focus on one thing in my path. I felt like I might pass out at some point, but on some miraculously conscious level, I knew I wasn't going to. Training for these extreme things really makes you amazed at the body's capacity. It was also really cold again (20 degrees) but, the temperature was the last thing on my mind. I also knew on this conscious level that, despite my fatigue, I was going to be able to finish. The mind-body connection really worked it's magic today, because if the two didn't communicate, I still might be in Central Park, passed out on the road some where right now.

Anyhoo, that's one resolution almost being complete. The other resolution I had made was to do some type of strength training twice a week. One of my favorite stores in NYC, the JackRabbit had a January challenge. If you wrote a resolution at a JackRabbit store in January, and stuck with it for a month, they said they were going to give out free technical shirts, if you claim them before February ended. That little challenge worked on me, and I did my strength training twice a week. It wasn't the most strenuous training, but it was as much as I could squeeze in. I went to claim my shirt yesterday, and here it is!

I wore this bad boy today.

Anyhoo, that's the end of today's post. We're having a Super Bowl get together in my apartment. Although I have no clue as to what is going on with the game, it should be fun.

Next week, there will probably be no long run. My brother and sister are visiting me from California, and I'll be spending the weekend with them. I'm really excited to see them, but also because they are bringing me a digital camera that my parents won in some kind of raffle. More visuals more visuals!!

Have a nice Sunday!

Carbtastic!

2010-01-31T12:11:00.000-08:00

12:20PM 15°F. That's what it said today on CNN building in Columbus Circle when I ran across it today. I don't know about you North Easterners, but I'd like to think that's pretty f-in cold.

The human body is amazing because it can still heat up and sweat in that kind of temperature.

Today's run was one of the best. It was one of the best because yesterday was well spent. I recently came to terms with the fact that the small support network of friends I have here may disband and be no-longer in the next couple of months. I was kind of worried that I would be roaming the city by myself for a little bit, but I spent the day with a friend that I had met through my roommate, and felt encouraged. I walked around the city with him in the biting cold but felt really lucky to be in the city. I went home, and felt adventurous and ordered delivery from a Turkish restaurant down the street that I always passed by but never tried. I had a delicious carb bomb of rustic Turkish bread and all sorts of dips. I committed carbicide a la Bruno, but the carb goggles made everything rosy, especially because I was already feeling good about that day.

I woke up this morning feeling a little bloated but plenty energetic. I knew that it was cold outside, but I did a little Rocky boxing shuffle, put my gloves, headband, wool socks, fleece sweater, etc etc etc. on and ran out the door.

The cold really hurt. Literally. My toes were in pain, and nose felt like needles were poking at it. But it was exhilarating. The sun was out and clear, and it was a really pretty day. I had good pod-casts on, and I just ran through the park without drama. I had extra strength today on the hills, and never slowed down, which I think is thanks to the Turkish bread. There was this one time during my last marathon training, when my old roommate Peter and I decided to watch South Park for the night and KILLED a box of pita chips. Killed. The box was huge, and the chips were thick, oily, crisp and DERRISHUS. Of course, I regretted it afterwards, and I woke up bloaty. I did, however, go on my long run, and it turned out FABULOUS. I had so so much energy. It was the first time I felt the advantage of simple processed carbs. Obviously, we over did it, and I probably over did it a little last night too, but man o man does it work!

Anyhoo, without any hitting any walls, or crashing, or even feeling any type of fatigue, the 14.5 miles were absolutely amazing. I sped through. I swear, I could have gone another hour when I got home. I know my limits to my muscle, though, so I made it a day and ended while it was good.

Today is also said-ex-roommate's birthday. I still have no digital camera and have no visuals, but here is a virtual shout out to one of my best dearest friends. He is someone who is basically my family, and I'm sad I'm not with him right now. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETER!! I LOVE AND MISS YOU XOXOXOXOXO.

Yes, it's a little lame because I wrote it on my newspaper, but I DID write it mirror image so that it would reflect correctly on my webcam. XOXO That is love.

FINALLY! First NY 20!

2010-01-24T11:47:00.000-08:00

I am at a stage right now where I keep falling in and out of sleep because of the fact that I FINALLY RAN 20 MILES in NYC!!!

I did it, I did it, and with no real roadblocks along the way. Sure, it was hard, but I ran the whole way through, with some welcome surprises.

First, here's my route:

You're probably thinking, "But Lisa, that's just you going to Central Park... AGAIN". Indeed, my friend, it is. What you can't really see, though, is that I ran to Central Park, did the whole loop (6 miles), ran the reservoir twice (3 miles), ran out of the park at W. 96th St and around the park to enter back in at E 96th St, and cut straight to the West Side (3 miles), ran out of the park again at E. 90th St, and ran back all the way down passing the Guggenheim and the Metropolitan Museum of Art until E. 60th St. (2.5 miles) and ran back home (round trip is about 6.5 miles). 6+3+3+2.5+6.5 =21 !! I actually did 21 miles.

And here is the killer elevation:

The spike at the beginning is me crossing the bridge the first time, and the gradual increase after the 10th mile is the killer hill at E. 110th St. The last spike, of course, is me crossing the bridge the second time.

I treated this run as if it was an event. I didn't go out the night before, I ate a delish bowl of squash curry and rice (which is my own creation that makes me want to pat my own back, it's so delicious), and went to bed really early after downing several cups of water. I woke up bright and early at 7AM, so that I could be out the door by 8AM, to avoid the predicted afternoon rain.

I reached the park, and it was already full of runners because NYRR was holding a half marathon. I knew about this and was a little worried about it, but it actually was pretty fun running along with a gang of race runners. There were less bikers, and the road was entirely taken up by runners. In a way, I had more space. I was running towards the reservoir, when I saw a girl who was volunteering who looked really familiar. When I got closer to her, I realized that it was Betsy who I had never met in person. I've been reading her blog regularly, though, and she's been sweet enough to comment here on some occasions. I had to go up and say hi, and she was just as sweet as the way she writes.

With that fun surprise, I got more energized and attacked the reservoir. The path was practically empty because of the race. I think it was the most enjoyable reservoir run to date. I ran around it, looking at the buildings, and also at the ducks that were walking on the frozen parts of the water (and also slipping and falling).

The rest of the run was difficult, but not mind-numbing. I felt pain, and my thighs and hip flexer were killing me around mile 15, but the air was crisp and I had a good pace. The hills in the park actually gave a relief to my overworked muscles, just the way that it did when I ran the marathon last year. I think I'm pushing in a different way that gives a break to my thighs and starts using my ass in a different way.

Once I got to E. 90th for the second time and ran down to E. 60th, I knew that I was going to make it. I went tortoise slow, but the tortoise won the race, so it was all good with me. I crossed the bridge and ran back home, and felt great. I did it! I did it, and I'm confident that I'll be able to get in another 20ish run before the marathon.

This is how I looked and felt immediately after:

It is now officially 2 months before the marathon. That means, I have about 5-6 more good long runs in me to get ready. NERVES! I bought my flight tickets too. It's getting more and more real!

See you next week!

The Wall and Music

2010-01-17T10:29:00.000-08:00

My good friend Carmen was celebrating her birthday this weekend, and based on last week's drinking debacle, I learned my lesson and ran my long run the day of the celebration, as opposed to the day after.

I scaled back this week and ran 14 miles, because I was feeling tired from the 17ish miles I ran last week. It's interesting how long certain fatigues can linger, and this one really stuck throughout the week. I've realized that what I had faced last Sunday was the notorious "wall" that people talk about, when running a marathon. When I realized that, it made me more upset that I had quit and gone home. It made me more upset that I had quit, because I will very likely hit the "wall" during the actual marathon, and I might quit and not finish the race like I did last Sunday.

With that on my back, I woke up Saturday not wanting to go out and run. I woke up later than usual, and loaded up my iPod with some pod-casts, but I was not feeling it. I started listening to some music while warming up with some dynamic movements, and finally felt like going outside. This whole process took about 2 hours. I hate it when I do this. It is the biggest waste of time, and I do it often.

I rarely listen to music on my long runs, simply because 2 hours of music is not as stimulating to me as 3 pod-casts show about current events, jokes, and other stories (i.e. Fresh Air, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, and This American Life). However, I ran the 14 miles yesterday with just music, and I felt myself going faster than usual. I love running music that has a similar tempo as a heartbeat, with a strong cadence. I love cadence that is almost marching-band-like, with heavy snare, or a simple bass. Usually, when I listen to music while running, there is one song that keeps me going and keeps me really digging into my muscles to muster up the strength to lift my leg and conquer the ground. These songs are never profound or emotionally moving songs, but a song with a catchy rhythm. During my last marathon, it was "Get Em High" by Kanye West ft. Talib Kwali. This particular run was "Say it in a Love Song" by Alicia Keys ft. Beyonce. I told you that they are never profound songs. Catchy does the job well.

It was also a beautiful day in the 40s, which hasn't happened in a month. I was actually sweating a LOT and feeling warmth that I hadn't in a while. It felt good, and I'm glad that I had gone out to run, even though I wasn't feeling it.

I sadly have no photos to share, because my camera is no longer with us. I don't have enough discretionary funds to buy a new one... so I am weighing my options.

I don't know when I'm going to tackle that 20 again. I think it might be next week, but I'm honestly losing some confidence. To be frank, there are a lot of things that I am feeling less sure about when it comes to running these days. Ironically, the one thing that frees me from these thoughts is running. So, I guess I'll just keep going outside and face the cement jungle.

No to perfectionists

2010-01-10T14:05:00.000-08:00

Today was a failed run. I did not run 20 miles.

Training for a marathon takes a lot of planning. Planning when to run, how long to run, when to not run, what to eat, how to eat... etc etc. I admit that training for marathons have made me into someone of habits, with some compulsive behaviors. I don't like being thrown off from my training schedule, and I don't like not being able to complete what I had proposed to do.

That said, I've also learned that being a perfectionist is not conducive to successful training. Shit happens. I'm the type of perfectionist that would rather not do something if it won't be done the way that I want it to be done (as opposed to the type A perfectionists). I've been able to slightly change that behavior, and it's definitely kept a positive spin on my marathon training, and life.

This slight change of state of mind was evident today. I went out last night for a birthday celebration for my roommate. I had planned on only staying an hour. I wanted to come home early, eat a late dinner (as opposed to the grease bombs that were served at the bar), and go to bed by 1AM to wake up at 9AM so I could be out the door by 10AM for my 20 mile run.

Here's what actually happened: I had fun. The drinks were cheap, the company great, and I was able to have really entertaining conversations with some new friends I had made in the last couple of months. As a newbie in town, you do have to make an effort to go out and make some connections. I've been trying to do that a lot more, and I realized that I couldn't just leave, after having only been there an hour. I ended up coming home at 2AM, ate, and going to bed at 3AM, and waking up at 10:45AM, and out the door at 12:00PM.

I've never been out this late for a long run, especially as long as 20 miles. I decided to do some different rounds of Central Park to make it 20, but was not successful. First, it was 25 degrees, which is below freezing. Granted, I had all my gears on, but my finger tips and toes lost feeling after around the 3rd hour. I also had drank more beer than usual last night, and wasn't feeling 100%. There was one moment where I felt like I was in a daze. I was definitely conscious, but felt a weird sleepy sensation coming over my body. I'm a paranoid WebMD person, and had read that drowsy-ness is a sign of hypothermia. While I knew that I wasn't cold enough to have hypothermia, I knew that it wasn't normal to feel that way. I ate some gummy sugar supplements and tried to finish the last 6 miles of my route. However, after the 3rd mile, I saw the sun starting to set a little bit, and a darkness that I wasn't used to started covering the park. I was also just plain tired of running. I wasn't tired. I could have gone another 3 miles. I was just tired of running. I made a deal with myself that I would continue running if I didn't see a bus, but right when I decided that, I saw my bus right in front of me. If that isn't a divine intervention or some extraterrestrial power telling me to get my ass home, I don't know what is. Needless to say, I'm disappointed about not completing the 20 miles. But, I am also conscious about being flexible and not being a destructive perfectionist. I ran 17 miles, and I'm going to swallow that as progress, even if it's not a success.

I'm home now, and I did a little of something that I should do more often: stretching.

I also did something I've never done before recently: bought 2 pairs of running shoes. I decided that I needed a regular pair of running shoes and a pair of trail running shoes for this somewhat snowy and icy winter. You like? That's me stretching (questionably) and showing you my new kicks at the same time.

I'm still a little bit annoyed about those last 3 miles that I didn't run. I'll get over it, because I made some potentially good friends yesterday.

P.S. My camera won't turn on. Batteries are charged, and it won't turn on!! GAHHH!!

I <3 LA (run)

2010-01-02T18:43:00.000-08:00

After a slew of holiday indulgences, I was more than ready for my long run in my beloved hometown.

I started out from my parents' house and headed east towards San Marino. I entered a really expensive residential area near Huntington Library, which is a mansion surrounded by gardens, tall bushes, and palm trees. It always reminds me of the outside of Jurassic Park. I love running in that area because it's really hilly and it keeps things interesting. Here's a hill I tackled. (Yes, it's a self-timed photo, and that tiny person is me.)

I then went towards Pasadena, and ran through the southern parts of Old Town, and ran back towards my parents' house. This is my 3 city run, going from South Pasadena, San Marino, Pasadena, and back to South Pasadena. I repeated this several times during my last marathon training, and I love the green scenery, the shades, the clear side walks, and the silence of suburban neighborhoods. (I'm sure it's Desperate Housewives mayhem inside those houses.)

I love running in the suburbs of LA because it's so calming and carefree. I can truly zone out (for the most part) because I'm running in practically people-free sidewalks, and the climate is as stress-free as the run. There are some perks to urban running that I've been doing in Manhattan and Queens, but I definitely missed these runs too.

It was a pretty strong and steady run, and I came home to a sleeping old darling adorable lovable dog. He just turned 13 a few days ago, and I try to make sure to acknowledge his presence whenever possible. He, for the most part, is not as enthusiastic about my unconditional attention, but entertains me because he's too lazy to protest.

I enjoyed my time outside in the sun and 70 degree weather. It was a nice last LA run before the actual marathon in March. Next week might just be the first time I will have to hit 20 miles, but the weather is not looking very positive in NYC... we'll see.

SEE YOU IN NY!

Carefree running and vacay-ing.

2009-12-29T12:28:00.001-08:00

Sorry for the delay. Didn't mean to upset my one reader that I have (Jimmy). I saw you on Saturday, Jimmy, so you don't really need to be updated, right?

Anyhoo, I went on my 16-17ish mile long run in SoCal this Friday. It was such great weather, high 60s, clear, and carefree. In New York, I'm constantly aware and looking out for possible dangers. It could be cars, pedestrians, icy roads, etc etc. Here at home, there is barely anyone walking on the streets, and there is nothing to worry about as far as weather. It was also Christmas morning, so there were NO cars. I didn't have to think about anything, but just zone out and run. I love that about suburban running. I also love that about Central Park in New York. I think that's why I keep going back there.

Southern California has some seasons. Right now, it is "winter", but it's actually fall. This lasts for a couple of months, and it skips right over to summer. It's actually pretty, though. Here's what the streets look like right now in So Cali Caliente. I'll take my camera on my long run this weekend to get a better sense of my routes.

After my Friday run, I have not done any exercise. Actually, I did some spontaneous yoga:

But I mostly played around in fantasy lands like this:

I also got a medium size tattoo on my back, and have been on hiatus from anything that makes me sweat while this thing heals. I am itching (in more ways then one) to pound some cement, though. I think I'll be able to go out on the road tomorrow.

Sorry for the brief post, but I'm on vacay! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! and I'll see you all in a few days. Jimmy, I'll see you Thursday night.

"Playing" in the snow!!

2009-12-20T12:06:00.001-08:00

There was a blizzard warning this weekend, which is why I did my 13 miles on Saturday AM, before the winter storm watch started. Went to the park, blah blah blah, nothing to note, let's forget about that one.

IT SNOWED IT SNOWED IT SNOWED! Holy crap, did it snow! I stayed with a friend Saturday evening in Manhattan, because she was going through some tough times. We stayed in, watched happy movies, ate pizza, baked cookies, and squealed (well, I squealed) every hour as a legit blizzard hit the city.

I came back to Queens later on today (Sunday) and I wanted to go out into the snow so badly. However, I didn't feel like going out to Central Park by myself. My roommate was gone for the holidays, my other friend that I had just left had to take care of family, and I didn't really have anyone else to call on. So! I decided to run in the snow. I have been warned fairly often NOT to do so, but I also have been told by several runner friends that it's freakin fun. I decided to go out on a short run, not go for speed or anything competitive, and just run through the snow like a 10 year-old.

O M G. It was the best thing I've ever done. So SO Sosososososoo fun! And, for you readers, I brought my camera!

Here's a shot of the street near my apartment. I love looking down this street, because you see Manhattan. Can you spot the Chrysler Building?

I had made several rules for myself. 1) This is purely for fun, and not for any training purposes. 2) Therefore, walking and running is permitted, if not recommended. 3) Icy streets can take me out for an entire season, so don't run fast, and run carefully. 4) Be attentive of surrounding. With these commandments in my head, I was off!

I think I ended up doing about 5-6 miles, but I was out for longer than an hour. The snow in Queens was not as plowed as it was in Manhattan, and there were mounds and mounds of untouched snow. It was like an obstacle course, and I hopped, skipped, did little jumps here and there, and sometimes straight up fell into the snow. Oh my oh my, this was just SO SO SO fun. I ran through the snow, when I saw a path made out like this:

I ran to my usual bridge, and the uphill:

Ain't no thang.

The bridge was WINDY but empty, and at another level of challenge. I stopped sometimes to look at Manhattan and it's snow-covered wonder.
I finished running the bridge and headed home. I thought I was done, but couldn't help sneaking in one more childish picture:

I thought this snow-danger-talk was all paranoia. I was about to turn the corner to get to my apartment, when I was suddenly was met with a group of fire trucks. I feared that there was a major accident in front of me. It turned out to be a fire.

Although this had nothing to do with running, I felt like it was a reminder to me that I could not take today's accident-free run as something that's expected. Safety first, safety first, safety first... (continuing mantra)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Next long run will be in LOS ANGELES! CAN'T WAIT!!

When you own up to the label: hardcore

2009-12-13T10:51:00.000-08:00

Today was brutal.

This is what I did:

You can click on the link above to get a larger map, but the total mileage today was 17.7. Ooof. I also ran apx 8-9 miles yesterday (I'll calculate later), which is a grand total of at least 25 miles this weekend.

To make things a tad more difficult, it rained today and was 38 degrees, and my iPod stopped working around the 6th mile. I ended up running about 2 hours without any music, which actually wasn't so bad.

It was brutal in the sense that it was fucking hard, but it wasn't brutal in the sense that it sucked. It didn't suck. It was one of those runs that made me feel hardcore, because I was getting drenched when it was cold enough to see my breath, and the whole experience was totally Rocky-like, when he was running up those stairs. (I won't criticize Rocky for wearing cotton sweats.) Everyone running around me were wearing leggings and shooting snot rockets, and were legit training runners.

There are 3 rules to abide by when running in the rain. They are:

1. Do NOT wear cotton, or sweats, because it will weigh a ton in 20 minutes.

2. Watch out for cars. You are not a horse. You CAN stop.

3. Don't give a flying fuck about anything else.

The last rule is crucial. You get to a certain point where you don't care that your shoes are wet, and you don't care that you are cold, because you're in a strange limbo of internal warm from accelerated heart rate and numbness because of the actual outside temperature. You look crazy, but you worked hard to look crazy and BE crazy to be running in said condition.

I ran from the QB bridge to Central Park, where I did a loop around the reservoir. I then went out of the park to the Upper West Side and went to Riverside Park. I at first regretted going out of the park because I had to stop and go according to traffic signals, and had to go through a tunnel. Tunnels = foul smell, because many people live and go to the bathroom there. However, once I got through that, I was met with a long clear and wide road, which was an absolute dream. I ran down with no one around, and it was so freeing. I could have gone forever. I reached the top of the park, turned around, and ran back to go back into Central Park and back home.

Needless to say, when I came home, I was chilled to the bone. I showered and ate, and I've been wrapped up in my Slanket for about an hour and a half now, but still feel cold. Here is a cameo of my Slanket (gift from Carmen - Thank you!!):

Trying to defrost and get on with the rest of the day.

FYI, totally underrated use of the Slanket: wearing it backwards, which just really means wearing it like a giant robe.

See you later, and HAPPY HANUKKAH!

Too cold? Never!

2009-12-06T09:49:00.000-08:00

Last night, it snowed for the first time since I've been living here in New York. The term snow is used broadly here, because it was technically sleet, but I ignored the wet streets and just looked up at the sky, amazed at the flake-like drops falling from the sky. It's getting colder and colder as the days go by.

When it comes to running in the winter, the temperature never bothers me. I would MUCH rather run in the freezing cold as opposed to the blistering heat. I've done both, and I'm convinced that it's never too cold to run. HOWEVER, there are weather-related obstacles like icy streets and lower visibility that genuinely scare me. I thought about those 2 possibilities while gazing at the "snow" last night.

Thankfully, it cleared up this morning, but it was even more colder than yesterday. 33 degrees! Coldest run yet.

The first half of the battle of running in the cold is actually getting the urge to get out there. My urge is fueled by the fact that I'm going to be running a marathon, and that it will just get harder and harder to get out there as it gets colder. It's also fueled by Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, which I load on to my iPod to listen to during long runs. Today in particular, it was also fueled by the desire of running to Lady Gaga's new Fame Monster album. (I can't get enough of her. Her ferosh-ness has trumped my general distaste for electronic music. )

For whatever reason, I was really craving an apple before my run, which is not something I normally eat. ( I usually opt for yogurt with jam - I know, dairy before run, but it's just been working for me.) I ate the apple, and stepped out into the painfully cold wind. It was painful at first, but the apple allowed me to get a good pace going right away, and after about 10 minutes into the run, I was not cold any more. I was only reminded of the winter when my face hurt from the cold, or when my finger tips lost the sense of touch. ( I don't know how to fix this problem with my fingers. Every winter, my hands get red and chapped because of my tendency to expose it to extreme temperatures, but I HATE running with gloves on.... Hmmmmmmm...)

I went to Central Park again, surprise surprise. I'll think of another route one of these days, but I can't help it. I love repeating what works. Since I ran 16 miles last week, and since I still have about 14-15 weeks before marathon day, I decided to "take it easy" by scaling my mileage to 13 miles today. That just simply means that I run from my apartment and around the park and run all the way back. It's nice because I don't have to think very much about it.

The scaling back of mileage is also something I'm doing new this time around, compared to my last marathon training. Last marathon, I ran Tue Thu Sun, and cross trained Mon Wed Fri and Sat, especially being conscious of not running on Saturday, since it's the day before my long runs. However, after doing some research, I've started running 6-7 miles on Saturdays as well, and taking it easy on Friday. Apparently, training the body to run hard during the weekends will make me stronger. I've been afraid of injuries, but so far, my long runs have been slightly stronger after running about an hour the day before, sometimes at race pace. I ran 6 quick miles yesterday, and ran a steady 13 miles today. I think it's working so far, especially with the swimming I do on Mondays.

Anyhoo the 13 miles were great, starting with Lady Gaga, and then with This American Life, and then Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, and finishing with Lady Gaga again. I don't know if it was the apple, but I didn't need a Shot Block or a water break, and ran all the way through with no supplements. Might have been the gigantic bowl of hot rice I ate yesterday which warmed me after a day out in the snow (sleet).

The next couple of weeks will be about balancing holiday activities and my training schedule. I might have to run some of my long runs on Saturdays, or even Mondays, and some runs may be delayed... I have to be honest here, I am totally OCD about my running, and I hate when things interrupt my running schedule. In fact, I haven't gone out on Saturday nights for the last couple of weeks so that I will have a descent long run. Yes, this is not normal, and yes, I know that it's no big deal if I miss one run. And no, I am no Grinch, and I actually love the holiday season, and the activities that come with it. I'm especially excited to see my family in Los Angeles, and go on runs in Los Angeles again. ( Los Angeles is an AWESOME running city, by the way. )

Now that my fingers have regained feeling, and I'm properly showered and fed, I am off to Manhattan to get some holiday shopping done. I've done this a couple of times, and end up purchasing things for myself. This WILL NOT WILL NOT be the case today.

Sorry for the disorganization of this entry. Perhaps, I'll think of a new route to run soon, or perhaps carry my camera with me next time...? Esca-laters!

The Familiar 16 miles.

2009-11-29T11:39:00.000-08:00

Today was a great run, from beginning to end. It was one of those runs that reinforced my love for all of this training.

I won't go into detail about scenery and route, because it's more or less the same, except I ran all the way through and didn't take the bus. I meant to run 13 miles, but because it felt so great, it ended up being 16 miles. You just don't fight it when you're on a groove! (Although, many running articles state the contrary, and warn about over-training... Whatevs.)

I'm completely a creature of habit in all sorts ways. I eat the same thing over and over. I do the same thing every night. I run the same route week after week after week. I run on the streets, and there are sections where I'm usually the only person running. After 4 months of running in the same area, I definitely notice familiar faces, and they recognize me as well. In fact, there's a homeless man with missing front teeth who stands right next to the Dunkin Donuts every morning, that does a little Running Man routine each time I pass by. I can't do a whole lot except smile and run past, since I don't carry change when I run, but it's a city experience in itself.

Once I start crossing the Queensborough Bridge, I notice familiar running faces too. It makes my day when strangers wave, or give a quick nod. There are a lot of bikers on the bridge, as well, and the nice ones also acknowledge my presence. (The mean ones yell at me to get out of they way.)

In Central Park, it's rarer that I see someone I recognize, but I see types of people that make it all the more interesting. It made me smile today to see an older man carry an F. A. O. Shwartz bag, which I completely assumed that it was for a grand child. I'm always impressed with the hardcore moms and dads that run with those fancy-wheeled baby strollers. There are tons of dog walkers. Today, there was a skateboarder who had a Rottweiler by the leash, and they were both mad-dashing parallel to each other down some steep hills. The skater knew what he was doing, though, and steered clear of other people, so it was highly entertaining to watch.

Running outside allows me to be part of other people's daily lives too, and it's especially true in a place like New York where there are constantly tons of people outside. Back in the suburbs of LA, there were only about 5 people outside walking/running when I would run. That has it's charm too, because we got to the point of stopping and chatting at traffic lights, and get friendly.

Anyhoo, today was great, and I'm glad to have gotten the mileage in. Must have been the stuffing+pumpkin pie carbo power that really fueled me for those 16 miles. My ass is sore, and I haven't moved much since 3 hours ago, but it's the type of exhaustion that makes me feel accomplished.

Hasta la next week!

Slow But Steady

2009-11-22T09:57:00.000-08:00

What. A. Week.

I think the way I feel about my long run (before the day of the run) is determined by how the rest of the week had been. This week, I have to admit that I wasn't very enthusiastic about my long run because I've had one of the most exhausting week since I moved here 4(!) months ago. It started with getting over a cold from that dreadful fever last week, and proceeded with a non-stop work week, thanks to the Annual Elected Coordinated Period for Medicare. (In layman's term, it's a period of free-for-all for most people who have Medicare, and the phones won't stop ringing.) I worked and worked, and even went to an off-site some where 30 minutes away from Jamaica, Queens to do presentations. I was already exhausted on Monday from being sick, and I was depleted on Friday.

I was battling a general fatigue throughout the week, but I had completely gotten over the cold and really didn't have any excuse to ditch my run. After stalling for a little bit, I finally just got over it, got ready, and went out the door.

This entire week, when I first start running, I've had this sensation that I'm not really there. My mind becomes a big blur, and it's almost miraculous that my legs keep moving, because I have no conscious thought through my head. I'm blaming it on the fact that I'm tired. I had this sensation again this morning, and I wasn't really aware of what I was doing until after I crossed the bridge, which is pretty much 3 miles into the run.

On Sundays, there are considerably more people running then any other mornings. I try to not pass any judgments, but you can tell right away if someone is not a frequent runner. The dead give-away is if anyone, male or female, is running in sweats. After you run a couple of time, you realize how burdensome it is to wear heavy clothing, and you pretty much shy away from anything cotton. When I see someone running in big old sweats I assume right away that they don't run very often.

I ran to Central Park. I went around the reservoir twice today (SO much better puddle-free), got back on the loop route, and kept running. Around mile 8ish, I noticed how slowly I was going, and these sweats-clad people were passing me. When I run for more than an hour, I never feel like I'm flying the entire time, but the fact that these infrequent runners were passing me left and right made me realize how SLOWLY I must have been going. I couldn't go any faster, though. I just couldn't. I shook off the dumb pride and kept at my own speed, and trucked along the E 110th St. hill. (Just fyi, you're going to hear about this hill often. It's pretty killer and long.)

Last week, I had a problem of mustering the energy to keep going. This week, that was not an issue. I was going tortoise-slow, but I didn't want to stop. I ran the entire 12.7 miles I ended up running. (That 0.3 miles that would have made it 13 kind of kills me) I was slow but steady, and I felt good when I saw Columbus Circle. Columbus Circle is on the last mile of my route, and I've made the mistake several times of expecting to see the CNN building at Columbus Circle way too early, and thus being discouraged and tired. Today, I was surprised to see it at the time that I saw it, and went on my merry way towards 5th Ave, which is the end of the route.

I could have gone further and crossed the bridge, but there's something about going from the beautiful park to the industrial part of the bridge that makes it unappealing, especially at the end of the run when you kind of need a boost. I figured I ran at least 12 miles at that point ( I need my heart rate monitor to actually track this kind of shiz), and saw the bus and took it home.

So that's that. FINALLY a successful run. I suppose next week is my half-marathon mileage week. I should be more than ready, since I have ample time to rest before, aka Thanksgiving weekend. HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!!

Obama fever weekend.

2009-11-15T09:41:00.000-08:00

I rarely get sick. I get sick once a year, if that. When I do get sick, it hits my like a brick wall, and I'm usually surprised and unsure what to do, because it's so unfamiliar to me.

The last time I got sick was on Election Day last year, and is illustrated here. On Friday evening, right when people were leaving for a happy hour, which I intended on attending, I suddenly got this sensation of extreme warmth around my head, but chills on my body. The heater/AC tends to shut off around 5:30pm - 6:00pm sometimes, so I first thought that the chills were due to that, but I still couldn't shake off the odd feeling, so I passed on the happy hour and went home.

I still had an appetite so I ate dinner, but I definitely felt the fever coming. I started calling it Obama Fever, when talking about it to my roommate, because it's quite literally a year after his election/my last fever. I went to bed, waking up several times in sweats, chills, hives, you name it, and spent the rest of Saturday in bed. It's also been a year since I spent 17-18 hours in bed, the majority of it being sleeping.

I thought about the proposed long run, that I had told myself I'd do today. Internet gives contradictory advice on exercise + illness. I was on the borderline of a lot of things. I had an appetite (good), my fever broke (good), I had some throat issues (bad), and my chest was feeling tight (bad). I woke up this morning feeling alright, with evidence that I had gone through another fever fight, with sweat on my pjs as evidence. However, I felt fresh, no aches in my body, and I had eaten the last night, and no stomach issues. I decided to try the 11 miles out, with the condition that I not brand it as a failed run if I don't make it the 11 miles.

So, I strapped my gear, and my pod-cast, and off I went.

The beginning felt great this morning. I'm telling you, RANDOM. However, around the 3rd mile, I definitely felt tightness in my chest that was new. It didn't help that I was breathing in colder air than my body temperature, but it wasn't enough to stop. I made it across the bridge to Central Park, as usual, and went on my merry way around the park route.

One of the many great things about Central Park as a running route, is that it's easy to add mileage, and make it an enjoyable run. This time around, since I was adding a mile, I decided to run around the reservoir, which is a 1.58 mile addition, and a beautiful scene to run along. I made it to the reservoir, expecting a nice scene, but was met with one of my least favorite running obstacles: puddles. It had rained the day before, and along the entire narrow running route were huge puddles of water. I hate puddles more than running in the rain. It made everyone running/walking along the reservoir to slow down, and hop, skip, and splash along it. It could have been worse, because there weren't that many people running around it, but...meh.

I ran and ran, and ran the hill of E. 110th St., and I just totally crashed, energy-wise. From the moment I hit E. 90th something street, I started walking/running and about half a mile from Columbus Circle, I just started walking. I drank all the water that I had, and ate my Shot Block, but I just couldn't get the energy to continue running. I finally exited the park, and got on the 59th and Lexington, where I took a bus home. I think I ended up running about 8ish miles, give or take.

I'm showered, and inhaled a bunch of steam from the hot water, ate a bowl of oatmeal, and have NPR Weekend Edition Sunday streaming. I'm feeling a little off, but I can't tell if it's because of the cold, or because of the run. I'm coughing a little, but not more than before, and nursing my throat with a trusty Ricola cough drop. Crossing my fingers that this won't last past tonight.

Again, not a FAILED run, but an honest attempt. Sigh. Stay tuned for next week.

Brain can say 13, but legs may say 10.

2009-11-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

After a glorious rest day on Saturday, I was all geared up for my 10 mile run this morning. I was more excited than usual because I had a new water belt, new running gear, and a new iPod Shuffle. (My old one that lasted for 2+ years died just last week... Oh the places I've taken that Shuffle..)

I told myself I would do 10 miles, and off I went to Central Park.

My usual route takes me from my apartment, across the Queensborough Bridge, a little into Manhattan up the tip of the SE corner of Central Park, and back across the bridge to my humble (rented) abode. That's about 6-7ish miles. When I want to run more, I enter Central Park and work my way around.

I don't care how cliched it is to say this, but Central Park is such a gorgeous park to run through. If you decide to do the entire loop, it's about 6 miles. What I had planned on doing today was half of my usual route crossing the bridge, the 6 mile Central Park loop, and across the Queensborough Bridge to go home and take a bus home. This equals to 10 miles.

On top of running in one of the prettiest parks, we are currently in the best running season of the year: fall. I hate running in the heat. I'd rather run in the winter, than run in the summer. Fall is just perfect because of the crispness in the air. This morning was no different. The air was fresh (or as fresh as it can be in NYC) and I was out the door, after loading 2 episodes of "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me" on to the Shuffle.

I still haven't figured out the science in how to get a good start. It's still random to me. There are some mornings when I feel like shit, but the minute I start running, I feel like I'm the lightest being on earth. Then there are mornings like today, where I wake up with no problem, excited about the run, and my legs feel slightly like dead-bolts. I couldn't get a groove. Thankfully, the first part of my route is down hill, so I built some aided momentum, but I was still struggling when I crossed the bridge. It wasn't until around the 6th mile that I actually felt like I had a good pace. The rest of the time, I felt pretty slow. My sister told me during my last marathon that I picked up the pace from the 13th mile and on. I guess it's better to be stronger in the latter half than the first.

The park was breathtaking. The trees were all sorts of yellow, red, and green. I was looking up at the trees throughout my run, which might be why my 6th mile felt great, because it was in the midst of the autumn foliage. I admit to almost crashing into people because I was so distracted. I used to do that while driving, where I would be distracted by the clouds and almost run red lights. This space cadet is much safer for herself and society when not maneuvering a vehicle. Now, it is just other runners, which is less hazardous...?

Central Park is FULL of runners, bikers, walkers, etc. Some people have complained about the crowd, but I honestly don't mind it. I don't feel cramped, and there's enough space for everyone. For the most part, people are courteous, and I feel an unspoken camaraderie. Sure, there may be some snooty elite runners who look down on my running and my iPod (a huge no-no, apparently) but there are so many runners on different levels that I don't feel intimidated to the slightest.

The 6 mile loop ended up being wonderful, despite the steep hill on E. 110th St when crossing over to the west side. I was feeling really good up until Columbus Circle, where I drank my first sip of water, 1hr 15 min into my run. I'm glad I had the water belt. Once I exited Central Park, I only had the bridge left to complete my 10 mile run, which was my plan. I had refueled with one of those Shot Blocks from Clif Bar (which is just like a giant gummy bear) and began crossing the bridge.

Going towards Manhattan on the Queensborough bridge is a long but gradual hill. The other way around is a short but STEEP STEEP hill, and the Shot Block definitely did what it was supposed to, especially because it was the 9th mile. I conquered the hill, and was running across the bridge, and entertained the idea of running the whole way home, instead of taking the bus, which would turn my run from a 10 mile run to 13 mile run. I was feeling good. I thought I could do it. I got off the bridge and started running more, when my legs started protesting. It wasn't in pain, but it wasn't moving much. It was as if my legs had entered into an agreement with my brain that it would do 10 miles today, and they were protesting the breach of contract. I obliged with a compromise, and instead of running it, I walked the way home. It was actually a nice cool down, and hopefully it will make me less sore.

Now I am here, in my room. I ate my favorite breakfast of peanut butter and banana sandwich, and am listening to NPR's Weekend Edition Sunday, while punching out this post. My ass is already sore, but I can't ask for a better way to spend a Sunday. Next week will be 11!

Thanks for reading!

Marathon, round 2!

2009-11-07T05:12:00.000-08:00

Hello there. Have you abandoned me? I don't blame you. I'd like to say that I have a lot to report, but alas, such is not the case. I can't even say that I've been incredibly busy, because that would be a lie. I can start saying that as of this week, because several projects have picked up and I was occupied a lot more than before, but it doesn't give me an excuse for the extended absence from this blog, except the fact that I had nothing to say.

HOWEVER! That is about to change! HAZZAH!

I've decided to dedicate this blog from now until March 21st, 2010 to write and report about my marathon training. Yes! You heard it right. I am running ANOTHER marathon, and it is the same marathon, the great Los Angeles Marathon. It's going to be the 25th race, with a brand new course. I happened to watch the New York City Marathon last weekend, and I simply could not sit still. I signed up a couple of days later, and I am extremely excited!

I'm going to record how each of my long runs go, which is mostly going to happen on Sundays. It'll give me something to look back on, and perhaps there will be some tidbits that you all might find entertaining.

There are some things that I'm going to change about this marathon training that I wanted to share with you:

1. Really monitor my eating the night before my long runs. Before, I thought it was a free-for-all when it comes to carbo-loading. It is not so. I think this lead to my weight gain from my marathon training (which I haven't lost, but meh, it's also extra muscle) and there have been mornings where I felt less than stellar right before the race. Carbo-loading means a meal of mostly carbs, and not a LARGE meal with mostly carbs. Less fun, but that's the way it goes.

2. I'm going to get a heart rate monitor. I'm not going to be running for speed, for several reasons, but I think finding out my heart rate will help me understand how much I should be pushing at what mileage. (I'm eyeing the expensive Garmin... it's just so cool...)

3. I'm going to rest. I have a problem with resting. I can't sit still these days, so I don't really do the advised rest days. I'm usually swimming, or running. This really doesn't help. I've designated Saturdays as rest days, although this isn't set in stone. I am going to rest, and it starts today. ( Just FYI, I ran 6 miles on M, swam 2k meters on Tu, ran 6 miles on W, swam 2k on Thu, and ran 5 miles on F. REST NEEDED.)

4. I'm going to get a water belt, and use it on my long runs, along with some sort of sugar boost. I've totally zonked out on several long runs to Central Park, and I think it's good to get used to supplementing myself with some sort of sugar. When I trained in LA, I only used a water belt once, and I've hit the mental wall many many many times.

SO! HERE WE GO! I will report how my long run goes tomorrow. I'm going to be doing 10 miles, which is the most that I've ran since my half-marathon in September. I'm not too worried about it, but am looking forward to let you know how it goes.

Now off to enjoy my REST Saturday!

The One who will listen.

2009-10-11T09:44:00.001-07:00

I am one of many interests, like you all. Just to list a few, I'm interested in health care access, cooking, claymation, public radio, and clothes. It's a wide variety, and not really related to each other.

I've realized how hard it is to find pleasure with talking about my interests to people around me these days, mainly because the people around me are not as intrigued about what I can't stop reading/thinking/searching about. I've found myself in more than one occasion where I would passionately talk about something and see that the other person's eyes are kind of glazed over, and I've lost their attention. This is no fault of theirs because a) I am almost always guilty of rambling and 2) it's not their fault that they don't find whatever I care about boring.

Not being able to hold a conversation is a painful thing. It's frustrating to not be able to express what's going on your head and say what you mean to say at the exact moment you mean to say it. I've always had slightly oddball interests than many people, but it's felt increasingly isolating as of yet.

I think it has to do with the fact that I've moved away from the people who, despite not having common interests, knew how to listen in a way where it felt as if they cared that I cared about those things. I remember several times in the past couple of years where I would come home to my former roommate Peter, and unload on him about the frustrations about public benefits coordination, or about what happened that day in national politics, and he would actually absorb what I was saying and respond with questions that allowed me to talk more. (I do lurve to talk.) Peter and I don't share all of the same interests, and the majority of the time, he didn't know the specifics about the topic I was talking about. But he made me feel like I was talking to someone who wanted to learn about what I was saying to him. He talked to me about his theater issues, and I hope I was able to do the same.

I've also maintained the most successful long distance relationship with my friend Naoko, and she is the champion of letting me talk for hours, regardless of what topic. Naoko and I have almost NO common interests, but what we share is a common sense of humor, morality, and sense of self. This is a product of 15+ years of paging/note writing/text messaging/ emailing and phone calls, and I am more and more aware about the rarity of the type of relationship I have with her.

It might be the fact that I'm the furthest that I've ever been away from people like Naoko and Peter, for an amount of time that hasn't been defined. Sure, I was in another country, but that experience had a definite time limit, and I WAS surrounded by common-minded people, also known as my precious Fulbright friends. I don't regret moving, because I am living out the dream that I've always had. I also have very welcoming people here who are my rocks of support. It's just the little moments of disconnection that I've noticed that has made me more sensitive about how hard it is to find people who will listen in a particular way that allows one to indulge in my interests.

I guess it's only recently that I've really noticed how odd I actually am. I have a feeling that this phase isn't an exclusive one that only I'm going through. Maybe on some level, everyone is searching for an outlet, and that's what they look for when they talk about The One. I'm still a gigantic sceptic/borderline non-believer of The One, but I am hopeful to find someone here that might let me be the freak that I actually am, whether that be a mate or a friend. I hope you all have someone like such, or that you will find someone very soon.

Lisa Speaks

You think you're the only one

Ugh.

What law school has been.

My favorite colors of the year

Blah.

I wish I was smarter.

"You look like you're 18."

Tab-u-lously starting NaBloPoMo

make up

Proudest

Short Break!

Privilege

Today's cause of joy is brought to you by...

Signs of single-lazy

Shorts, no longer

Humbled

Pooped

Listening to mother

I need new jeans...

Fashion cliché

Panda Lisa

Energy!

Thank Black

I'm red because I tried.

Hunting down the free-dom

PUSH ME

YESH

One step away from Lunchables

Bite my lip

Lifesaver

*click*

Another cool thing about being a student...

one of those days again

JEANS

can't get the energy...

What today has been like

I need to clean my room.

September 10th, 2011

sneaky

I'm listening!

A full-time job

I don't like rain.

Chalk Bathroom!

what i'm doing right now

I'm hot because I tried.

AAaahhhh.

Student Fair!

If it makes me old, so be it.

So did ya hear?

10 years since Aaliyah's passing

law school starts!

Me and my baby

Wind down.

errbody slow down.

Amy Winehouse

Adult Sippy Cup

I might be getting too old for this.

Coby

Morning Ritual

Running heaven.

Summer 2011

Sometimes, the intent doesn't matter.

What would you do?

stay with me for a bit...

FUCKUSED

If you ever want to make me cry...

When you try and try

I hope

Math

Tweet tweet.

Delayed start.

I'm wide awake today.

It's 20 minutes into the 4th

So, I had this idea...

Yeah I know...

Hello world!

I'm still running!

The imperfect race.

The day before

click